Sunday, 17 April 2011

Apparently if you close your eyes, don't agitate anything, and wish hard enough, then all your kitchen dreams can come true!

Biggest news of this weekend?

It just happened. Literally half an hour ago. Turns out if Mr Muscle doesn't succeed on the first try then the second time is a charm! Hazzah to no rooting through my U bend! (Keep it clean please people.)

I was overwhelmed with such excitement that I immediately washed up the weeks worth of dishes that had started to stink up my kitchen.

What's that I hear you cry? Is that another LOCD peering out at you? Correct! You get a gold star.

I won't even pretend that I'm a tidy person because... well... who am I kidding? But for some reason the drying dish area beside my sink is a very sacred place. When washing up, if the dishes, cutlery, glasses and other miscellaneous food related equipment are not in their correct place the world surely will end in a ball of fire and I couldn't do that to you lovely people! I mean, who would read my blogs then?

Some of the places make sense, like the knives and forks are in the cutlery pot furthest away from me as they are the sharpest and most likely to cause me to bleed. The cutlery pot closest to me is reserved for the safest of all cutlery, the spoon and it's child, the teaspoon. (They used to also hold the chop stick as well but that was able to poke just as dangerously as the knife's ability to cut, so they were moved immediately.)

The others have their place because... well look how pretty it looks? Why would I want to disrupt that?


I am an awesome gourmet chef at all food microwaved because I'm an awesome kick ass single home dweller. Today I had me some corned beef hash thingy (tastes a lot nicer than it sounds). The instructions confused me slightly however, when I looked and saw this...

I was pretty sure this was a weird instruction to have on cooking directions, but just to be sure I went to Google dictionary to find out what it truly means to agitate. This was what I found.

1. Make (someone) troubled or nervous.



Okay. Question, how do you make a black plastic tray full of half cooked food troubled or nervous?

Not wanting to fail at an epic cooking task, I attempted to do as it said. I looked the tray straight in what I assumed was it's eye, pointed my finger menacingly at it and said "Have you seen the state of the economy today? It's not good at all. Everything's really expensive."

Unfortunately not only did this have no effect on the food but it also backfired horribly on me as I started panicking about my own finances and how I was certainly going to die of being without money within the next year.

I take it I had a particularly brave looking food who didn't want to show it's agitation as although I had noticed no difference, once it came out of the microwave for the second time, it was scrumptious to eat and full of all kinds of hopelessness.


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