Saturday, 6 August 2011

For the record, I'd make a rubbish witness of murder. I'm far too lazy and sleepy to check if the kids dead.

I'm currently laying in bed and listening to two 12 year old boys have an argument outside my house.

My favourite comment so far has to be:

Boy A: When I said "Your mum" I wasn't actually talking about your mum, it's just something people say. I could have gone on to say "Your mum is a lovely person" or "Your mum is the best" so you shouldn't have told her I said that. You need to go back to her and apologise and say I didn't mean it like that.

Then there's been

Boy A: You can't beat me up, I'm taller than you!!


Boy A: This is child abuse you retard!

Unfortunately Boy B spoke too quietly for me to hear what I'm sure were his amazingly witty comebacks but I'm pretty sure that argument just made my day.

Okay now I just heard "Come on then" followed by a grunt, a crash and the sound of an ambulance speeding by... I'm like 99% sure they're unrelated but even so... Should I check?

No, we're good. Boy A just called out "Come on Charlie, let's play Black Ops" and Boy B (AKA Charlie) mumbled something incoherent back. It sounded like it was in a fairly chipper tone. I'm just hoping that wasn't Boy A's highly elaborate plan when he spotted my open window and wanted to ensure that his cover was tight...

Ah well, I guess we'll never know.

Peace out my lovelies.


  1. This is so funny : ) Just wanted to say that I stumbled upon your blog a couple of weeks ago whilst Googling for a picture of a goose to draw (as one does) and have been reading since. Such good stuff, thought I would say hi! Abi x

  2. Ha ha! Yeah, those posts tend to get the most views thanks to people image googling for geese. Apparently this is a very popular thing to do...

    Hi back and thanks for reading!

  3. I don't think Boy A quite understands what child abuse is...
    In fairness, I wouldn't have checked either. Is it possible that this is a case of multiple personalities fighting each other?

  4. If they aren't yours - then they aren't your responsibility. :)

  5. lapetitepancake - I'm pretty sure Boy A doesn't understand most of the things that come out of his mouth!

    Stephanie - Sound words, and ones I shall be taking with me in all attempted child murders of the future.