Wednesday, 8 June 2011

It's funny how all of my most pensive moments in life seem to be about birds... Maybe one day I'll get pensive about that.

Work-Buddy-James has been shortened to WBJ. 

Me: So yesterday I did a blog about how I'm instinctively a chicken and that's got me thinking. 
WBJ: What about?
Me: Why is it when you're scared of something, people call you a chicken?
WBJ: (Thinks a moment) Because chickens are scared of everything. You go anywhere near them and they fly away. 
Me: Chickens can't fly. 
WBJ: You know what I mean. 
Me: (Considers this) I'm not convinced. Most birds fly away when you go anywhere near them. 
WBJ: Not ostriches. 
Me: Ostriches aren't birds, they're monsters. 
WBJ: Geese have been known to put up a fight as well. 
Me: Geese don't count, they can read minds.

Pause

Me:
Pigeons fly away when you go near them but no one calls scared people pigeons... Perhaps I should-
WBJ: It wouldn't work. Pigeons are relentless, they will stay put in the middle of the road no matter how close you come at it with your car. 
Me: That's because they're stupid, not brave... I think I'm going to start calling people pigeons when they do or say something dumb. 
WBJ: Sounds like a plan. 

Pause

Me: Sheep run away from you when you come near them, how come we don't call scared people sheep?
WBJ: Sometimes we do. 
Me: Touch√©. 
WBJ: Besides I've seen YouTube videos of sheep, geese and ostriches attacking people. I've never seen a chicken attack a person. 
Me: Something tells me YouTube weren't the first ones to call people chickens. I pretty sure people were being called that before it was invented. 
WBJ: You know what I mean. There's no proof of chickens fighting back. 
Me: Have you not seen Chicken Run? 
WBJ: There's no factual proof of chickens fighting back. 
Me: I don't believe that, there has to be a video of someone being attacked by a chicken. I'm going to find it. 
WBJ: You'll be wasting your time. 
Me: I'm going to find it and then start the revolution of no longer using a chickens name in vain... also I'm going to see if I can get the pigeon insult to catch on. 
WBJ: That's never going to happen. 
Me: ...... Pigeon. 



Take THAT Work-Buddy-James. Phase one of my plan complete.

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