Tuesday, 29 March 2011

The Up/Down Staircase LOCD

I've debated whether or not to put this one down as a LOCD given that it could also just be seen as a healthy respect for the law.

I've decided to write about it anyway and let the good people decide. So without further ado, I give you the 'Up/Down Staircase LOCD.'

Since starting my new job I have found myself having to adapt to a whole set of new routines and schedules. One of the new routines is my silly travelling regime. This is an hour and a half of public transport consisting of a walk, a train, a tube, a bus and another walk. Yes, I know, it's ridiculous, but I'm getting used to it now and if I don't focus on how much time in my life I'm wasting on trains then I tend to get through the week fairly unscathed.

The 'Up/Down Staircase LOCD' developed at the last train station I arrive at on my way to work. It's exactly as it sounds. There is a staircase at this station divided into two with a sign above it stating which side you walk up and which side you walk down.

As per usual, I have taken a picture to help you all visualise.

As you can see, the sign clearly states the correct path to take.

Now I like a good rule as much as the next person, so the first time I saw this I was very excited to get on the right side (which is actually the left side ironically (is that the correct use of ironically? (I think it is))).

This gave me ridiculous satisfaction. The only kind of satisfaction you can get when you've just obeyed a really good rule.

Anywho, this became a thing I loved. Every morning I would arrive at the foot of the stairs and trot happily up the 'Up' section.

The day I feared this particular habit may have turned into a LOCD was the first day I saw this happen.

I was halfway up the correct side of the stairs, at a walking pace due to the large amount of people trying to get out of the station at the time. Out of nowhere, this teenage boy in a bomber jacket bombed (see what I did there?) up the stairs on the 'Down' side!

Disgusted I was! What a complete disrespect for the law! What would have happened if someone had spotted their train coming and needed to run down the stairs at that particular point? Head on collision is what! As well as the person missing their train... so double tragedy!

Luckily there hadn't been anyone who needed the 'Down' side at the time but he couldn't have known that.

What's more it seems to have turned into an epidemic as since that day more and more have been taking advantage of the 'forbidden side.' I mean look at this picture.

That's almost half the population of current stair walkers who have chosen to walk on the dark side!

I appreciate that you may not be as outraged by this as I am. In fact you might find yourself not caring at all. Well, all I have to say to you regarding that is if God had intended for people to walk up both sides of that staircase, he would have created an 'Up/Up' sign.

And before you start thinking I need to loosen up a little, I am completely loose already thank you very much (probably best to take that in the context it was meant) in fact I would like to inform you of the time not long ago when I had had a whole bowl of ice cream BEFORE I'd had any dinner! So... IN YOUR FACE!


Okay, I feel guilty about how aggressive that last bit sounded so... here... have a blob of Salad Cream. It's my favourite.

I totally ate that after I took the picture.


  1. LOL. Love it and totally agree with you Lisa. Thanks for the salad cream!!!!!

  2. Lol. No probs. Salad cream always makes everything better. We'll get all of those pesky rule breakers soon!