Sunday, 20 March 2011

Originally posted: 09/03/11 A woman who is prone to (L)OCD's

I would like to add a disclaimer to the following blog: Due to me not actually having been diagnosed with the following issue, it is purely my own observations and kick ass thoughts that lead me to believe it is true. I will leave you to come up with your own theories. As I am not a doctor I will change OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) to LOCD (Lisa's Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) which is what I have personally diagnosed me as having in my capacity as a real life person.

I have a little problem with LOCD. I have had since I was 14 and sat in a caravan with three friends whilst watching Tim Henman lose once more in Wimbledon. It was bizarre the way it came about but basically I was sitting there, my friend Lauren turned the volume up to 33 and suddenly I became overwhelmed in a flurry of emotions and asked (or demanded, I can't remember due to the long period of time since then) that it be changed to either 32 or 34. The moment Lauren changed it I felt a lot better and that started the period of my life that was forever governed by even numbers.

This was a rather awkward period of my life and it lasted in it's extreme for about 8 years. Literally EVERYTHING had to be done in even numbers,

Eating: I would always eat my crisps in two's and if there was one crisp left at the end then I wouldn't finish it. Burgers were eaten only in even bites. Gum if offered would have to be given to me in two's or, if I didn't know the person well enough to ask for that, then I would simply break the gum in half and eat it that way. NB Now, although I no longer eat gum in two's I still break them in half out of habit.

Volume/Temperature: Anything that was measured with a number to indicate how high it was must be put to an even number, even better if I could get all numbers even; EG: 42 instead of 32. NB Now, this is still exactly the same. It just plain creeps me out being any other way!

Drains: I couldn't walk over one or three drains, only ever two or in those rare occasions 4. NB: Out of habit I still do this without thinking however I have developed enough as a person now that if I am thinking about it then I get a little rush by walking over three drains like I'm doing something I wouldn't normally do and therefore pushing my boundaries!!

There were others but I think you get the gist. Basically even = good, odd = bad.

Out of the birth of such a silly little LOCD came a lot more interesting ones that I have picked up on. I would like to stress that these do not make me 'slightly insane' or 'bizarre' or 'not quite there' as some people have said in the past. I just simply work by the theory that if you do something a certain way and enjoyed it that way then why not do it that way all the time?

An example of this is one that I have picked up in the past couple of months in my little maisonette. The way my home is put together, the moment you come into the house you're confronted with stairs that take you up to the second floor where all my rooms are. There is a light switch at the bottom of these stairs for the downstairs light and two light switches at the top for upstairs and downstairs. My biggest rule in the house is this, upon arriving home of an evening, the two light switches at the top of the stairs must be facing the same way once I turn the light out to the corridor.

Confused? I thought so, so here's a photographic aid:

A good example of the light switches.

A bad example of the light switches.

I don't think I am asking for much for this to be done. And sure it means that I have had to sit down and work out what position they should be in in order for it to work when I leave the house. And yes it has meant that on more than one occasion I have had to feel my way down the hazardous stairs in the dark to rectify the situation if they have somehow managed to come out of sync. But look at how beautiful they look the right way up!

There are more LOCD's I am guilty for but I shall leave them for another time.

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