Sunday, 20 March 2011

Originally posted: 11/09/07 Beware of Jemal the Pizza hut man.

Let me tell you a story of something that happened this sunday, something that blew my mind. I should warn you guys now though, if your not sitting then do so because although this may be a long story, it is soooo worth it.

K, so I had like 6 people over on Sunday afternoon, and we decided 'why not get some pizza?' You see my friend Beebies stomach was in her words 'a rumbahumbaling' Steve was just impatient to be doing anything else other than what we were doing which was - well - nothing and the rest of us could've done with some grub. So we decide what we want and we give my local Pizza Hut a call.

I ring up the place on my friend Rosie's (see afore mentioned blog) mobile and recall all of the order, it was a hefty amount and he was just reading it back to me when Rosie's fone did what it did best, it's battery died. In utmost panic at the idea that the Pizza Hut man may have thought this fone call was in jest I hastily call him back on my own fone. He answers and tells me that he had cancelled the order in the brief 30 seconds we had been cut off.

Although seeing this as a little rash I shrugged it off and proceeded to tell him the order again. Once I had finished, he took my number and told me he would deliver it to the last address this fone had been connected to which was in fact Rosie's abode and not mine. I then went on to tell him that the address had changed to which he told me is an impossibility, (obviously this man had not heard of the wonders of mobiles) after a brief moment of 'healthy debating' he accepted the new address, told us the price was £50 and the food would be with us in 40 minutes.

Now after 50 minutes had gone by and Beebies had reminded us every five minutes via the noises her stomach was making and the verbal elongating of the word rumbling that she was indeed (and I quote) 'bare hungs' I decided to ring the Pizza place again.

Here is the conversation in scripted form (Pizza Hut man shall be shortened to PH)

Lisa: Hi I rung about 50 minutes ago with an order and we haven't had it yet
PH : Yeah I know I cancelled it
Lisa: What?? Why??
PH: I rung you on your fone after to hung up to confirm your order and it kept on ringing so I assumed it was a prank
Lisa: You never told me you were going to ring, if you had I would have rung you earlier when I didn't get a fone call
PH: Yeah well I rang and you didn't answer
Lisa: Well my fone has been by my side the whole time, you probably copied the number down wrong.
Lisa: So what happens now??
PH: You'll have to tell me the whole order again
Lisa: Wait, so your meaning to tell me that I have tell you the whole order again, wait the full 40 mins AND pay the full price because you made the mistake of copying my number down wrong??
PH: Yes
Lisa: Because of a mistake you made??
PH: Is your number (proceeds to read out my number)
Lisa: Yes
Ph:Well I rang that number
Lisa: You can't have done coz it's been sitting by my side since I got off the fone to you
PH: Well maybe there was no signal (Let's not forget people that he had already told me the fone had rung with no answer)
Lisa: Can I speak to your manager please
PH: Yes
Lisa: Well??
PH: I'm the manager.
Lisa: You're the manager??

By this point my friend Steve had come up to my bedroom and asked for the fone. I gave it to him willingly and this is what I heard.

Steve: Can you tell me your complaints procedure please?..... I have to fone head office?? Can I have that number then please??..... What do you mean you don't have the number, you have to have it.... Just give me the number..... Excuse me.... don't pick up the other fone you're talking to me.... DON'T PICK UP THE FONE..... Hello?? Hello?? .... why did you pick up the fone, I'm talking to you.... actually, you know what?? Your at the enfield branch right?? I'm coming down to see you.

Steve then hangs up and goes in the car to the take away place. All that follows is silence as us girlies wait for him to return, we each came up with ideas as to what had happened but nothing was remotely like what actually did happen.

I ring Steve to ask whats going on and he gives me a step by step account. He went into the take away and asked for the complaints number for head office, again the manager who had called himself Aman by now claimed he didn't have it, Steve persued until eventually he gave in and wrote a number down. Steve then goes to ring the number, an action that is quickly stopped by 'Aman' suggesting 'wouldn't it be better to ring later when he was at home' Steve continued to dial the number. Once it started ringing he understood why this manager had been so keen for him to wait.... The pizza hut fone started to ring. Aman had given Steve his own number.

Steve decided to stop all this and left the take away. Now the good thing about living in a London town is that there are like three versions of everything at easy reach and just at the bottom of the road there was another Pizza Hut, this one a restaurant. The man in there was a lot more obliging, gave Steve the number (that all pizza huts have available) and told him that there was no manager by the name of Aman at that take away, his name was actually Jemal.

Steve firey as ever goes back to the take away place and proceeds to ring the complaints office in front of the newly named Jemal. This act alone seemed to freak Jemal out and so started to bargain with Steve along the lines of 25% off (Steve: You gotta be kidding mate, I want it for free, Jemal: No way!!) then 50% off (Steve: Sorry, no way) and finally when he was at his last tether he exclaimed, 'OK you can have it for free!!'

Ten minutes later Steve turns up at my door with a £50 order (that the manager had remembered off by heart anyway) for completely free with a complementary Pepsi thrown in as well.

I'll probably never be able to order there again however if I don't want spit filled pizza with pooey garlic bread but the victory was ours!! And I warn you now, if you ever find yourself in Enfield town fancying a pizza snack.... Beware of Jemal the Pizza Hut man.

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