Thursday, 27 March 2014

My subconscious is cleverer than I am... also more excitable, so it balances itself out.

My brain never stops liking to be surprised.

I had this real "Oh my days, I cannot believe it is already Thursday" moment earlier. Seriously, I saw the date and had to stop what I was doing to sit and marvel at how fast this week has gone for at least 30 seconds. It was a magical time. It filled me with joy, especially as I have so much planned for this weekend and am very much looking forward to it. I then continued with my day with that extra little skip in my step.

However, about an hour later I noticed that I had begun to make plans in my day as if it were a Friday, which meant I had to once again bring myself to a halt, although this time I was sad. It would appear that my subconscious had gotten so excited about the whole "it's later in the week than I had thought", whilst I had carried on with other stuff, it had gotten carried away and changed my thinking too far... stupid subconscious.

... Although, I can't be too hard on the ol' noggin. Last Friday, it did something so shockingly impressive that I'm still suitably marvelled by it. I was working out my budget for April, like the awesomely cool person that I am, and had found my mind to begin to wonder. I believe I was considering what food to eat, if I remember correctly. When I zoned back into the budget I had in front of me, I had noticed that, during this time of momentary brain procrastination, I had done some mental arithmetic and worked out the sums I had needed. I giggled to myself, convinced that this then meant that the whole thing was a mess. I grabbed the calculator to check my sums and gaped in absolute wonder. They were correct. All three sums. I had worked these out, without even concentrating on them, and I had got it correct.

Guys, something you may not be aware of when it comes to me is that, for all of my educational achievements, of which I have done okay, maths has never been a strength of mine. After the age of calculator on the phone began, I officially gave up on it altogether. Whatever sum, however small and inconsequential, must always be solved on a calculator. Should I be expected to come up with an answer without a calculator, I will most definitely find my brain to be completely empty and the more I try to think about it, the more empty it becomes. This is the case for any kind of sum. I can usually just about add up small numbers but I will most definitely have to use my fingers for the exercise. As for times tables? If it isn't the 9 times table (for which there is the finger trick) or the 10 times table (for which there is the "just add zero" trick) I will most certainly stare at the person asking me with a blank expression for so long they will inevitably roll their eyes and say "I'll work it out myself."

Due to having somehow worked out the sums that that Friday had required, mostly to do with multiplying high numbers, I actually found myself woot out loud. And then, finally, after over a decade of not knaowing why I don't fully understand maths, I realised the thing that I had been doing wrong all along... I had been thinking! So simple! How could I not have thought of this before? Well clearly because I was thinking and to not think is the way things get done... stupid thoughts.

However, now that I have found the magic solution to the reason why I am not, at this point, a kick arse mathematician, I am still no closer to working out how to rectifying it... I don't know if anyone has ever tried actively not thinking about something... but the very act of trying to purposefully not think about something usually means that you will be thinking it... It's like that stupid The Game phase that went around about 8 years ago... remember that one? The object of The Game was not to think about The Game. If you thought about The Game then you had to announce to everyone around you that you had lost The Game, usually leading to a large amount of annoyed groans as everyone around you also lost The Game. If someone external to you announced they lost the game, you are allowed a 1 minute grace period. If, after that, you are still thinking of The Game, then you too need to announce you've lost The Game. And so on and so forth.

It was massive in my particular group of friends. We would take the whole thing very seriously. One friend and I took it to such a level that, whenever we lost The Game, we would text each other. However, we began to do this so regularly that the mere act of getting a text from this friend would make me lose The Game before I had even opened it.

You never really stop playing The Game, so for all of you people who haven't thought about The Game in about 8 years and have now lost The Game by reading this... sorry. Don't worry, you'll forget about it soon...

Anywho, I believe that demonstrates how hard it is to actively not think about something. I have decided, therefore, that I will try falling asleep holding a pen and a sheet of some unsolved maths equations tonight, then see if, when I wake up, I am actually secretly the genius I've always suspected myself to be.

Awesome plan. I shall keep you posted.

Peace out my lovelies.

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