Thursday, 20 October 2011

There are some times when manners and general politeness are necessary, sometimes they are nice to have, and sometimes they lead to possible stalker/kidnapping incidents.

Whilst writing yesterday's blog on the way home from work, I was actually going through my own little drama. I had never been so glad that I had something as long and complex as the post I wrote yesterday to distract me. Here are my series of events for my journey home. 

Just after 7 I got on a bus to take the first stretch of my journey home. There were lots of seats to choose from so I picked a nice window seat on the top deck and settled down to write my blog. 

Shortly after I sat down, a guy came up the stairs and chose the seat next to me. I remember thinking this was weird as I was almost certain that there were plenty of available seats not so close but I chose to ignore it and continued tapping away on my phone. 

The guy (who I shall call Brad) made two phone calls and then put his phone away. At this point I made the mistake of looking up at him. The moment I saw he was looking back at me I went back to my phone, trying desperately to tune him out. I thought I had been successful until I heard his voice. 


Convinced that if I continued to not acknowledge him it would mean that the word hadn't been meant for me. 


Crap. It didn't work and if I ignored him once more I would just have been being rude. As such I looked at him, smiled my weakest and strained smile and said "Hi" back. 

"You work at the hospital don't you?" He asked. 

"Yeah," I said. "The mental health hospital though."

"I thought so," He said, "I work in the hospital too, in the kitchen. I thought I recognised you."

"Oh." I said, not having a single clue who this guy was. 

"I've been wondering where you've been, I haven't seen you for a couple of weeks now."

"Huh." I said, I was pretty sure I had never seen this guy in my entire life, let alone two weeks ago. 

I shifted my gaze back to my phone, hoping that that was the end of that conversation. 

"Do you live nearby?" He asked. 

I smiled at this question. I didn't live nearby. Due to this, any unwanted attention I might get always fizzled away when I said this. 

"No, I don't." I said. "I live on the other side of London."

"Oh?" He asked, clearly not fazed. "Whereabouts?"

"It's far," I said. 

"Where exactly?"

I faltered, warning bells started to ring. 

"Enfield." I said. 

"Oh! That's really close to me! I live in Edmonton!" (For those of you who don't know, Edmonton is a short bus journey away from me). 

"Huh." I said, officially wishing I had waited for another bus. 

"So you must get on the train at the station coming up." Brad continued, oblivious to my disinterest. 

"Yeah," I sighed.

"So do I! We can ride together."

I smiled weakly and didn't respond, shooting my eyes desperately back to my phone. 

When it came to get off the bus, he went ahead of me and I allowed several people to go in front of me so as to tactfully put some distance between us and throw him a hint. Obviously this did not work because when I eventually left the bus he was standing there waiting for me. I tried my best not to roll my eyes and walked with him into the station. 

We got onto the train and for one blissful moment I thought someone was going to sit on the seat next to me but she changed her mind at the last moment and left it open for Brad to take. 

Brad sat next to me, trying to gain as much physical connection as possible. So much so he was practically leaning against me. I went back to my phone the moment I sat down, praying that he would get off the train soon. 

"You're so beautiful." He said. 

My stomach sank. 

"Are you getting off at the next stop like me?" He asked.

I practically danced inside. I wasn't. 

"Nope, I stay on the train, well it was nice meeting you."

"Really?" He said. "Well if you live so near me then maybe I should take your route home. It might be quicker."

Damn it. 

"I wouldn't think so, it takes an hour and a half."

"Wow! That's better than mine, it takes me two hours."


"It would be longer for you because the train I take doesn't go near Edmonton."

"I don't care," he said. "You're worth the detour."

"I really think you'd be better off going your usual way."

"Don't you understand? I want to go your way. It would be good for me to see a new way home and even better if I could travel it with you."

I start to panic, the stop he should get off comes and goes. Brad's still on the train. 

"So which stop are we getting off at?" He asked. 

"I think you should get off at the one before I do, that station has a train that will take you straight to Edmonton." I offer, desperation beginning to become evident in my tone. 

"Why would I do that when I get to travel with you?" 

It was at this point where the voice in my head was saying "because I don't like you and find you weird and stalkerish and would like you to disappear." What I actually said however was:

"There isn't an easy way to get to Edmonton from the train station I get off."

"I'm sure you can guide me to the nearest bus." 

I said nothing and chose to ignore him instead. 

"You are so beautiful."

"I have a boyfriend!" I blurted the lie out with as much confidence as I could muster. 

"So?" Brad said. "I'm not interested like that, I just want to be good friends, I enjoy your company."

"Huh." I repeated. In my head the same sentence repeated over and over. Your photo's going to be on the news tomorrow. Your photo's going to be on the news tomorrow. Your photo's going to be on the news tomorrow.

As we neared the station that I had suggested he should take he turned to me. 

"Can I have your number?"

"No." I said, inwardly congratulating me on my newly found balls. 

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to give it to you."

"Go on, we can chat and get to know each other."

"I'm really not going to give you my phone number, sorry."

"So you're telling me that if I were to go out of my way to travel home with you, you wouldn't even give me your number?"


"Okay, well I might as well get off at this stop."

I actually felt like crying with relief. 

"I think that's best."

"Can I meet you at the bus stop tomorrow?"

"No, I don't usually get the bus at this time."

"Can I see you tomorrow?"

"If you happen to bump into me in the corridor then okay but otherwise no."

"Are you sure I can't have your number so we can organise to meet?"


"Okay, well it was nice meeting you."

"Mmmm." I said and then watched him get off the train

I went into work today, told Line-Manager-Monica, she marched into the kitchen to find the man and tell him to stop stalking her employees and found out that there was no one in the kitchen who worked there that fitted my description. 

I don't know whether to be relieved or more freaked out. 

Peace out my lovelies. 

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