Monday, 23 May 2011

There's no escape. I was foolish to think otherwise. My body's just too strong.

Two and a half years ago

The ENT Specialist looked at me skeptically from across the room.

"I have to say we really prefer not to do that procedure anymore."

"I know." I said. "I've been told, but the whole thing is getting ridiculous now. I've been plagued by this for years."

"It's just not deemed as an important enough operation on the NHS. Not unless the condition is chronic, and I mean really bad."

"It's happening every other week at the moment. I get a sniffle and boom! My tonsils have taken over my throat."

The Doctor said nothing but continued to look on skeptically.

"Just have a look and decide for yourself. They're not even inflamed at the moment and I can still feel them."

"Okay," the Doctor said cautiously, reaching for his otoscope and moving to where I sat. I dutifully opened by mouth for him.

"I am warning you though, I really don't see how-" He stopped mid sentence as his light shone in my mouth. "-Woah! Those need to come out!"

"I told you."

"We can do it but there will be a waiting list of about 2 months, are you okay with that?"

I opened by mouth to respond but suddenly found myself gripped with fear. For so long I had been subject to my tonsils' bullying and blatant vandalism of my mouth. They had put up such a good fight, could I really get away with destroying them altogether without any kind of retaliation?

Fear gripped me for a moment but then the joy of a tonsil free life entered my mind and my body was filled with a deep determination.

I set my eyes directly on the Doctor's, sat up straight and in a quiet but confident voice I answered his question with two words.

"Do it."

Since then my life has been a tonsil free breeze. When I catch a cold, all that's involved are sniffles, sensitive skin and chronic fatigue.

Even a year later when I came down with the dreaded Swine Flu and mere moving made me throw up, I remember thinking 'at least my tonsils are out, this could have been so much worse.'

My life began to get back to normal again and like all those heroines in between the horror movie sequels, I believed the terrifying ordeal was behind me.

This morning however, I woke up to an old but yet so familiar sensation in my throat. Right there, just beneath my left jaw line, I felt the feeling I had become so used to recognising as the swelling of my tonsils.

All day it has been there, a small and slightly painful swell where my tonsil should be. It's impossible. I thought I had got away with it, I thought I was safe, but now I'm not too sure.

If you still don't believe my body's out to get me then you amaze me.

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