Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Bye bye home. It's been immense.

Guys, my beautiful first home has now gone. It no longer belongs to me. I also don't have a new home yet as I can't move in until Saturday so technically I am 100% homeless. 

Luckily Claire-And-Rachael-The-Bullies have agreed to give me a place in The-Bullies-Lair. And so I am not completely on the street... Still, it feels weird. 

I have awesome people in my real life world though because Anna's-Boyfriend-Karl and Anna's-Older-Brother-Pete spent the entire evening, with the help of a third friend, Eric, taking all of my many, many items of stuff back to their house where they're going to look after it for the week/pick through and choose what they want without me realising. Out of the different ways theft can happen, this is definitely the nicest way. 

So, as such, at 9:30 last night, my landlord turned up, gave me a hell of a lot of cash and I signed away the first flat I had ever had all for myself. Needless to say, there were several moments of blinking back tears and fanning my face so as to ensure no one would realise I was capable of real emotions. 

My landlord did comment on how well I had kept the flat... I felt I couldn't exactly say "Thanks, my mummy did it for me" (even though she did), so instead I waved him away murmuring something like "oh it was my pleasure."

In reality, yes, my mother travelled all the way down from Scotland this weekend armed with a suitcase full of cleaning products and sponges, purely to ensure my skanky mess was completely blitzed before anyone else had to enter the place. This led to the following conversation Marmie and I had on Saturday with Younger-Brother-Daniel via Skype. 

Younger-Brother-Daniel has been shortened to YBD

YBD: I can't believe you actually let mum come down just to clean your flat.
Me: I tried to resist but she insisted!
Marmie: I just feel better knowing it's all done. 
YBD: Mum, I want to tell you a story I was told once... I believe it applies here. There was once a caterpillar who became encompassed by its cocoon. When the time came, it started it's fight to escape from the cocoon's grasp. At this time a man was walking past and saw this caterpillar/butterfly struggling with all it's might to get out. The man felt sorry for the caterpillar so he got out his knife and made a little cut through the cocoon to let it out. Do you know what happened to that butterfly once it got out?
Marmie: No. What?
YBD: It died. It died because it wasn't strong enough to live in the wild. It wasn't strong enough because the man had stopped it from gaining that strength to manage itself. You realise what that means? Mum, by coming down here, you are killing your daughter. How is she going to survive in the wild now?
Marmie: Nonsense, I was just helping. I like to help my children. 
YBD: Well if that's the case, (looks around his room) I could use some help. My room is drastically short of money in it. 
Marmie: Well honey, I can't help with that, but I do know how to clean. 
YBD: I'm kidding mum, even if you had loads of money, I wouldn't want any. 
Me: I would... Because I'm a good daughter who accepts presents because it's the nice thing to do.

Anyway... Thank goodness for Marmie's help because my hopes for staying in my flat until the following Saturday were completely dashed on
Monday as my letting agents told me I had to be out by Wednesday at the latest. 

Due to other reasons that are far too complex to put in here, it turned out that Wednesday turned to Tuesday night and that's why I am now homeless and living out of two suitcases. 

Still, the packing process was entertaining. I got to label my bin bags of clothes which I decided would be a fun thing. 

I also got to play at DIY as I dismantled my furniture yesterday. This was extra interesting as I had forgotten I would need tools for this and so had to make do with a bread knife and a pair of kitchen scissors. 

As such, there were... Incidents. Some of which involved the scissors getting away from me and jabbing me straight in the palm... Three times... In the same place. 

Needless to say, that hurt. Especially the third time. 

Peace out my lovelies. 

No comments:

Post a Comment