Thursday, 10 November 2011

Goodbye everyone... It's been fun. 

It's with an ache in my heart and a tear in my eye that I bid you all adieu as tonight will be my last post. 

I hope that I have been informative in these last couple of weeks and provided enough help so that you can successfully enjoy the remaining of your existence. I would love to be able to continue with passing on my disturbed thoughts to you but as of tomorrow everything changes and I'm not even sure I will ever see a computer again. 

Needless to say I have loved you all and might even see half of you again. To the other half... Good luck on your side of the fence, may you be blessed and happy in all the decisions you make. 

What can I possibly be talking about I hear you ask? Well the inevitable rapture of course! Tomorrow is the day!



Okay. So it seems like I am the only person who seems to think the end of the world is happening but I assure this was not made up! Jo-Jo told me it would happen and you guys might not know Jo-Jo but I have it on good authority that she has never lied to me yet! ... Well there was that one time but she did say that it was better I didn't know because then I would avoid being tortured slowly and painfully by the men following her around, so it was totally justified. Besides I didn't even know the guy who was murdered that well so it made sense that I didn't get too involved. 

But anywho, I digress. The end of the world is nigh and happening tomorrow. I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact that there are a lot of 11's involved in the date and so, going by that assumption, I would hazard a guess that we should all ascend/descend sometime in the 11th minute of the 11th hour of the day... Possibly at the 11th second (which you have to admit is a lot cooler than any of the other dates that have been predicted).

If I were you I would make sure you're somewhere really quirky at that exact time because it will blatantly be one of those moments that people will look back on and ask, where were you when the rapture happened? You know like people say now with "Where were you when the Beatles broke up?" or "Where we're you when that guy first landed on the moon?" With that in mind, imagine how awesome it would be if you could answer with something like, "Well actually I was wrestling a shark whilst eating jelly" or "I was trying to see if I could swallow a baby elephant whole" (your quirky thing does not need to involve an animal, this was just my personal preference).

So with that said I guess I have imparted all the knowledge I have to give you and I will say goodbye whilst I board the plane to Africa so that I can find a Giraffe's neck to abseil down. 

Peace out my lovelies. 

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