Wednesday, 8 February 2012

I knew there was a reason I didn't do stuff!!

Agh, so I haven't been on this for over a week. I can do nothing but apologise.

My excuses for prior to Sunday are as rubbish as forgetting to upload two different posts which as we speak are sitting on my phone where I left them after writing them on the way to and from work, and also working really late so that when I get home all I have done is shower, fall asleep and start the day all over.

Sunday onwards, I have a more feasible excuse.

Saturday afternoon, after catching up with some awesome friends from where One-And-Only-Daniela and I used to work, I found myself feeling a little under the weather. One-And-Only-Daniela had also planned another night out Saturday night in London, involving getting dressed in a posh frock and high heels and dancing into the early hours of the morning.

I, against my better judgement, agreed to go to this even though I wasn't feeling that great and put on my new dress. This dress was another reason why I had decided to go as it was new and I hadn't bought a new dress in about two years. Sure, it was a catalogue dress and so when I actually got it, it was three sizes bigger than what the model in the picture wore and so may have resembled something slightly tent like on me. Also the colour in the picture was this just off red colour but when I got it, it looked more like someone had found an orange highlighter and coloured in the whole dress with it.

However, I persevered. I put on my dress, I washed my hair and I fixed it into some form of "going out" style and I picked from my large selection of beautiful shoes that I had bought back when I used to have money to throw away.

For those of you who don't live in the London area of England, Saturday was hit with a massive snow storm type thing. This had started a couple of hours before I had left and had forced my ever awesome Housemate-Anna to march me back into my bedroom when she saw what I was wearing, instructing me to at least put on some flesh coloured tights as it was like a freezer out there.

I then left and walked in my stiletto heels in about 5cm of snow to the train station. This is a journey that is usually a ten minute walk but took me a good twenty minutes to do in the extreme conditions I was facing. As I walked past a pub, a group of lads were outside, clearly heavily into their drinking for that night and stopped me from going any further.

"Why are you walking in the snow in that?" One of the guys asked.

"Don't ask," I responded, "I'm wondering the same thing."

"How are you even walking upright?" Another asked.

"I have no idea."

The third guy looked down to the glowing dress protruding from under my coat. "Wow! No one's going to miss you in that thing!"

I rolled my eyes and took that as my signal to go, anxious that I would miss my train. "That's why I'm wearing it! Got to think safety first in this weather."

I walked off just as one of them yelled out something about whether I would like to "get off" with his mate and figured this particular question didn't really warrant a response so kept on going.

My journey to central London was pretty much more of the same, I wobbled on snow, sat on trains, wobbled on more snow, got stopped by a musician type man with a floppy hat and a guitar who congratulated me on my brave style choice in the colour dress that I was wearing. I of course pretended that this was completely on purpose and waved my fist in the air in a 'power to the people' type motion.

Waiting for One-And-Only-Daniela for 1 hour had me well and truly remembering just how under the weather I had been feeling. It also had me realising just how many people wondered through London's Leciester Square Train Station, unbelievably pissed out of their brains to the point of vomiting and passing out in their own sick. It was enough to make me glad I did all my hardcore drinking and vomiting at home, away from the public eye...

Anywho, when she hadn't arrived by midnight, I gave up and made my way towards my trusty night bus station. To say by this point I wasn't feeling that great would be an understatement. However, One-And-Only-Daniela turned up before the night bus did and before I knew it I was being led to the night club.

We stayed until three thirty. The dress, luckily, was dimmed down by the club lights and passed as a normal dress. I spent the night, dancing, taking off my shoes, being asked to put my shoes back on by the 'nice but scary' security man, dancing some more, taking my shoes off again, being asked to put my shoes on by another 'nice but scary' security man, and so on and so forth.

Adrenaline hit me in the club I think. I almost forgot that I had been feeling ill. Besides it was warm in the club. And the loud music and people dancing in close proximity to each other meant that I only had time to remember what was wrong with me in those brief moments when a song I didn't know came on and I actually stopped dancing. At those times, it would rush over me like a wave of sore muscles and nausea.

At three thirty I got on my bus. However, the snow had not stopped for the whole time we had been in there and the ground was now showing about 10-15cm of the stuff. As such the bus was slow so as not to kill all the many drunken passengers inside and didn't reach my stop until gone four thirty.

My two minute walk to my front door took me 15 minutes and when I got into my flat it hit me. I collapsed into my hallway in silent sobs so as not to wake Housemate-Anna. She woke anyway because she's awesome... or because my silent sobs weren't actually that silent... And she put me to bed.

However, by now the damage had been done, for the next four hours Housemate-Anna, in a feat of awesomeness that proves that she is the best housemate in the whole world, sat on my bed stroking my back whilst I shivered, convulsed, cried and went through what I can only describe as the worst pain I have ever felt in every one of my muscles.

She phoned for an ambulance as we hit the 6am mark as she was convinced that I had hypothermia. However, due to the snow, no one would come out. In the end we spoke to a lovely nurse on the phone who told me that I couldn't do anything about it but ride it out.

And that people, is why, three days later, I am only just picking up my computer. Although my pain has not been as intense as those four hours on Sunday morning, I am currently bed bound, knowing full well now what it feels like to have "the flu." It sucks and I do not recommend it to anyone.

I also have realised the reason why I don't socialise and spend all my time talking to imaginary people on the internet. I can't get flu on the internet!

So there's my excuse, maybe sometime soon I'll upload the posts that are sitting on my phone but I think I'm going to go and have a little nap now, it's been a whole twenty minutes since my last one.

Don't worry, I've learnt from my mistakes, no fancy parties and dresses for me. Pyjamas, books and blogs are my new social life for 2012.

Peace out my lovelies.

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