Friday, 23 December 2011

A Christmas Tale: A Cannibal's story.

Okay I'm afraid to move in case I scare it away but I do believe I have caught, what the locals call, "Christmas Spirit."

I got to leave a whole hour early from work today and I got a Christmas card from a doctor who only started working here two days ago. Inside it said "thank you for all your help" and I realised all that fussing over her wasn't perceived as annoying but rather helpful... My OCDs win again! Huzzah!!

Tomorrow I'm getting a train to Scotland where the rest of my family have already started the festive celebrations. What's awesome about this is that there doesn't appear to be snow anywhere so the likelihood of me spending Christmas alone in England with nothing but a couple of bottles of wine and my own company doesn't seem to be that strong! I suspect Father Christmas had a word with the Weather man for me... That man always knows what to do!!

Also, Heinakroon gave me the best Christmas present ever by recommending me to the country of Finland!! It's amazing, I'm in a Finnish paper everybody! If I didn't know I would give up a week in I would even vow to learn the Language. Damn my short attention span!

Then Heinakroon went on to #FF me and I gained a whole three new followers. They're all like my favourites now and so far, five hours in, none of them have unfollowed me. I'm not going to lie, the pressure to keep them interested is giving me the shakes. So far, my way of dealing with this (without bribing them to love me with spare spitroasts) is just to hide in a corner, away from twitter. So far that has worked but I do wonder how long that will last...

If you are reading this for the first time and are not impressed so far then I do have a wide range of spitroasts to offer, all barely used as I like to rotate my choice of brand. I also make an awesome liver stew and kidney pie, all made from humans. Not only that, but humans who I really like so it's completely humane. All of my humans are allowed to roam free before I kill them for food, I'm not a monster. 

So... let me know if you want me to make you a batch. 

Merry Christmas. 

Peace out my lovelies. 

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