I am still here, I promise.
Just wanted to share something with you for a second because every time I have thought about this moment on TV for the past two days I have just started crying with laughter once again... This is the reaction of one of the guys who got through in X Factor UK this week...
Without further ado, I give you Rylan Clarke
I don't know what I love more, Rylan's reaction or Nicole's.
Funniest.thing.ever.
I love it.
Peace out my lovelies.
Tuesday, 2 October 2012
Tuesday, 18 September 2012
It may just be me, but my friends are awesome... and it's not just me, they are.
Anyone who reads this blog regularly will know that I absolutely love my friends and will take any opportunity possible to exploit their words and moments on this thing so that I can immortalise their words for ever.
You will also know that there is no one I love doing this more than with One-And-Only-Daniela. The reason for this is that I did not give her this nickname lightly. There is literally no one like her and, when talking to her I have no idea what I am going to expect. I love it.
Today, due to the fact that my birthday is a month and a half away and I always just pass it by without doing anything overly big, I decided to go all out and do something this year. I have decided to go to a Cabaret dinner/show followed by a 1950s club... there is a very good reason for this latter event. One-And-Only-Daniela and myself went to a Grease themed party the other week, put on by the same people who did our Bugsy Malone night out, I bought a 1950s dress and petticoat for it and I was damned if I was only going to wear it once!
Suggesting this night out to a group of my Essex friends today has had to be the best thing I could have done. They have been making me laugh heartily. There's a large chance that you guys aren't going to find this funny, but I have to immortalise it because I adore my friends and the things they say to me:
This is a facebook conversation today.
One-And-Only-Daniela has been shortened to OAOD
Me: I'm going to this Cabaret/1950s club in Soho, wanna come?
Jo-Jo: I'm in, But... I thought that was a bondage/PVC type place (ahem, not that I'd know) ? xxxx
Me: Wow! Not that I know! There are riskay nights, it's a little naughty but in a burlesquey type way. We're going on a cabaret night. Check out the website! Lots of people recommend it... maybe we should bring whips just in case.
Jo-Jo: Haha, now where did I put that gimp mask???? Hmmm xxx
Me: LOL!!!!!!!!
Me: I have to share this, I was just emailing One-And-Only-Daniela at work:
.... Me: Jo's comment had me in stitches!!
.... Pause
.... OAOD: What's a gimp mask?
.... Me: Oh you do make me laugh. Google it.
.... OAOD: OMG they're scary!
...
Yes, I do report back to everyone in transcript, I find it gives a little bit more of an finesse to it... don't judge me, I get my kicks where I can.
To my parents who may be reading this and thinking that I'm going to a strip/fetish club as Jo-Jo suggested, this is not the case, it is a cabaret night and will be in good taste. I promise we will not be taking any whips or gimp masks with us. I have looked into it, it is not that kind of club...
So I am on a 'my friends are awesome and I'm feeling happy to know other people outside of myself' high at the moment. Sometimes it's nice to socialise with people every so often.
Peace out my lovelies
You will also know that there is no one I love doing this more than with One-And-Only-Daniela. The reason for this is that I did not give her this nickname lightly. There is literally no one like her and, when talking to her I have no idea what I am going to expect. I love it.
Today, due to the fact that my birthday is a month and a half away and I always just pass it by without doing anything overly big, I decided to go all out and do something this year. I have decided to go to a Cabaret dinner/show followed by a 1950s club... there is a very good reason for this latter event. One-And-Only-Daniela and myself went to a Grease themed party the other week, put on by the same people who did our Bugsy Malone night out, I bought a 1950s dress and petticoat for it and I was damned if I was only going to wear it once!
Suggesting this night out to a group of my Essex friends today has had to be the best thing I could have done. They have been making me laugh heartily. There's a large chance that you guys aren't going to find this funny, but I have to immortalise it because I adore my friends and the things they say to me:
This is a facebook conversation today.
One-And-Only-Daniela has been shortened to OAOD
Me: I'm going to this Cabaret/1950s club in Soho, wanna come?
Jo-Jo: I'm in, But... I thought that was a bondage/PVC type place (ahem, not that I'd know) ? xxxx
Me: Wow! Not that I know! There are riskay nights, it's a little naughty but in a burlesquey type way. We're going on a cabaret night. Check out the website! Lots of people recommend it... maybe we should bring whips just in case.
Jo-Jo: Haha, now where did I put that gimp mask???? Hmmm xxx
Me: LOL!!!!!!!!
Me: I have to share this, I was just emailing One-And-Only-Daniela at work:
.... Me: Jo's comment had me in stitches!!
.... Pause
.... OAOD: What's a gimp mask?
.... Me: Oh you do make me laugh. Google it.
.... OAOD: OMG they're scary!
...
Yes, I do report back to everyone in transcript, I find it gives a little bit more of an finesse to it... don't judge me, I get my kicks where I can.
To my parents who may be reading this and thinking that I'm going to a strip/fetish club as Jo-Jo suggested, this is not the case, it is a cabaret night and will be in good taste. I promise we will not be taking any whips or gimp masks with us. I have looked into it, it is not that kind of club...
So I am on a 'my friends are awesome and I'm feeling happy to know other people outside of myself' high at the moment. Sometimes it's nice to socialise with people every so often.
Peace out my lovelies
Monday, 17 September 2012
Empty brain
You know, it's all well and good me deciding to write on this thing every day, but the problem comes when there isn't much to write about... I'm empty today. No whimsical wonderings, no manic mischief, no random reminiscing, no shady shenanighans... a lot of alliteration though. That's always fun.
As such I'm going to make it short today, partly for the reasons above and also partly because I have been typing at work for 8 hours straight and my finger muscles are starting to look far too buff and out of proportion to the rest of my body... seriously, they're like firm, hunky looking sausage fingers. They love a good wolf whistle at other fingers going by just so they can wink and flex their biceps (before you say it, yes fingers are able to wink and yes they have biceps, if you are checking that in some form of new fangled "science book" then you are quite clearly reading the wrong material).
But anyway, I'm tired and I'm really not looking for another reason to stay staring at the four walls of my office when I should have left a very long time ago already. I almost decided to wait and talk to you guys when I got home but then I thought, meh, that's a whole hour and a half away, who knows where my head and indeed my body may be at that point? ... Well, I kinda hope my body will be at home sitting on a sofa and turning on Season 3 of House as I am re-watching them at the mo... but still, you never know!
Okay, well my left hand now hurts and my right hand is making fun of it for being a woose. In my left hands defense, I am left handed so it has to do a lot more work than the right... My right hand's having none of it, if you listen hard enough you can probably hear it gloating from where you're sitting... and now my left hand is sulking and threatening to go on strike... I'd better wrap up, this typing milarkey will be a lot slower with only one hand in operation and I'm already dreaming of my bed at home... hmmmmm sleep... how I've missed thee.
See you guys around and share love to all because I've decided that today that is important.
Peace out my lovelies.
As such I'm going to make it short today, partly for the reasons above and also partly because I have been typing at work for 8 hours straight and my finger muscles are starting to look far too buff and out of proportion to the rest of my body... seriously, they're like firm, hunky looking sausage fingers. They love a good wolf whistle at other fingers going by just so they can wink and flex their biceps (before you say it, yes fingers are able to wink and yes they have biceps, if you are checking that in some form of new fangled "science book" then you are quite clearly reading the wrong material).
But anyway, I'm tired and I'm really not looking for another reason to stay staring at the four walls of my office when I should have left a very long time ago already. I almost decided to wait and talk to you guys when I got home but then I thought, meh, that's a whole hour and a half away, who knows where my head and indeed my body may be at that point? ... Well, I kinda hope my body will be at home sitting on a sofa and turning on Season 3 of House as I am re-watching them at the mo... but still, you never know!
Okay, well my left hand now hurts and my right hand is making fun of it for being a woose. In my left hands defense, I am left handed so it has to do a lot more work than the right... My right hand's having none of it, if you listen hard enough you can probably hear it gloating from where you're sitting... and now my left hand is sulking and threatening to go on strike... I'd better wrap up, this typing milarkey will be a lot slower with only one hand in operation and I'm already dreaming of my bed at home... hmmmmm sleep... how I've missed thee.
See you guys around and share love to all because I've decided that today that is important.
Peace out my lovelies.
Saturday, 15 September 2012
Go me, I'm all pro work and stuff
Today I am working on a Saturday. Yesterday I spent two hours budgetting with Housemate-Anna and all in all I am feeling that urge of importance in my life where I am awesome and taking control of my finances and not lazing about and being productive in the world whilst making my mark and all that shizzle.
I am very excited about this, I am also going to go for the record on how long that will last. I spent all last weekend feeling sorry for myself and all my badness and not having any money and being all rubbish with all aspects of my life full stop but then I was reminded, I can choose to be different! I can be a better person.
So about tuesday/wednesdayish when I'd rather reluctantly taken off my 'everything sucks and woe is me and everyone should feel sorry for me because nothing ever changes and I'm only making things worse' hat, I decided I would take my first step and re-engage with the world. The only way I could figure to do this well was to come to you guys and start spouting crap like I used to, hoping that it may enocourage me to be more productive in other places... it worked.
I went to the doctors and sleep exists, I went to work and was told I could do extra shifts (this is my lunch break, I'm not slacking I promise) and I started telling Housemate-Anna about a plan on how I will stop my bank from stealing money from me (in a legitimate sense and not by wearing a mask and stealing it back or anything like that (if I was planning that of course, I would not be stating it on here, it's burglary 101, don't advertise your crime if you don't want to get caught (I'm talking to you, people who rioted my lovely Enfield last year, put pictures on the internet of you doing so and then were surprised when the police found you... you know who you are (but I'm not stealing from the bank. Pinky swear)))). Any who I was telling Housemate-Anna this and suddenly, the next thing I know, we're writing up charts and plans and budgets and working incomings and outgoings and using whiteboards and markers and doing math and all sorts and most importantly I didn't hate it
Yes, I am a new plum. I am organised and I am ready for the world. So long sucky Plum, hello world!!
Peace out my loveles.
I am very excited about this, I am also going to go for the record on how long that will last. I spent all last weekend feeling sorry for myself and all my badness and not having any money and being all rubbish with all aspects of my life full stop but then I was reminded, I can choose to be different! I can be a better person.
So about tuesday/wednesdayish when I'd rather reluctantly taken off my 'everything sucks and woe is me and everyone should feel sorry for me because nothing ever changes and I'm only making things worse' hat, I decided I would take my first step and re-engage with the world. The only way I could figure to do this well was to come to you guys and start spouting crap like I used to, hoping that it may enocourage me to be more productive in other places... it worked.
I went to the doctors and sleep exists, I went to work and was told I could do extra shifts (this is my lunch break, I'm not slacking I promise) and I started telling Housemate-Anna about a plan on how I will stop my bank from stealing money from me (in a legitimate sense and not by wearing a mask and stealing it back or anything like that (if I was planning that of course, I would not be stating it on here, it's burglary 101, don't advertise your crime if you don't want to get caught (I'm talking to you, people who rioted my lovely Enfield last year, put pictures on the internet of you doing so and then were surprised when the police found you... you know who you are (but I'm not stealing from the bank. Pinky swear)))). Any who I was telling Housemate-Anna this and suddenly, the next thing I know, we're writing up charts and plans and budgets and working incomings and outgoings and using whiteboards and markers and doing math and all sorts and most importantly I didn't hate it
Yes, I am a new plum. I am organised and I am ready for the world. So long sucky Plum, hello world!!
Peace out my loveles.
Friday, 14 September 2012
I HAVE SLEEPING PILLS!! HUZZAH!!!!
Last night, I had the most blissful sleep, I went to bed at 7:15pm and woke up this morning at 7am! It.was.amazing!!
On receiving these sleeping pills, I would like to say a special thanks to my GP who, without her I would never have dreamt of achieving this goal (pun intended). I would also like to thank my bed, who has had to deal with a lot of thrashing about from me recently (and not the good kind), throughout it all it has stayed secure and comfy and allowed me to snuggle into it's mattress as I drifted off to a place I had thought had disappeared forever. On that note, and for similar reasons, I would like to thank my duck feathered pillows and largely togged mattress as well as my massive Eeyore stuffed toy, given to me as a present on my 21st birthday from Oldest-Friend-Cafrin and who has spent many a night subsutituting the lack of human contact for me... thanks Eeyore, the love heart that comes out of your mouth saying 'I love you' is just what I need on so many nights...
To be honest, I thought it was a honour just to be considered for these pills, but to know that I have won the opportunity to own them for my very own is mindblowing, thank you to all my friends who believed my insomnia was good enough to qualify for drugs, even when I began to lose faith that it could ever happen to me. To think that I almost didn't turn up that day at my doctors to ask for the pills... and now look how far I have come!! Almost 12 hours!!
...
I mean sure, I woke up like 7 times throughout the night, but only for a minute or so, soon the pills took over again and relaxation was mine! ALSO I don't remember any bad dreams! Yeay! It's not only copious amounts of wine that allows me to sleep without the interruptions of nightmares! Weird brain I will conquer you yet!!
(If you're a new viewer to this blog, I am certified as a 'brain with issues' kind of person but don't worry, I don't pose any danger for your safety.)
So, in other news... I don't really know, I kinda went straight home and straight to bed last night so no shenanghans were able to occur... hmmmm I'll have to find a way to balance my sleep and shenanaghans evenly so as to not sacrifice one for the other.. I'll get back to you on that one. In the meantime, love you all, missed you all, thank you all for your lovely 'welcome back' messages and I will internetually communicate with all of you very soon, you truly are awesomeness in a bag.
Peace out my lovelies.
On receiving these sleeping pills, I would like to say a special thanks to my GP who, without her I would never have dreamt of achieving this goal (pun intended). I would also like to thank my bed, who has had to deal with a lot of thrashing about from me recently (and not the good kind), throughout it all it has stayed secure and comfy and allowed me to snuggle into it's mattress as I drifted off to a place I had thought had disappeared forever. On that note, and for similar reasons, I would like to thank my duck feathered pillows and largely togged mattress as well as my massive Eeyore stuffed toy, given to me as a present on my 21st birthday from Oldest-Friend-Cafrin and who has spent many a night subsutituting the lack of human contact for me... thanks Eeyore, the love heart that comes out of your mouth saying 'I love you' is just what I need on so many nights...
To be honest, I thought it was a honour just to be considered for these pills, but to know that I have won the opportunity to own them for my very own is mindblowing, thank you to all my friends who believed my insomnia was good enough to qualify for drugs, even when I began to lose faith that it could ever happen to me. To think that I almost didn't turn up that day at my doctors to ask for the pills... and now look how far I have come!! Almost 12 hours!!
...
I mean sure, I woke up like 7 times throughout the night, but only for a minute or so, soon the pills took over again and relaxation was mine! ALSO I don't remember any bad dreams! Yeay! It's not only copious amounts of wine that allows me to sleep without the interruptions of nightmares! Weird brain I will conquer you yet!!
(If you're a new viewer to this blog, I am certified as a 'brain with issues' kind of person but don't worry, I don't pose any danger for your safety.)
So, in other news... I don't really know, I kinda went straight home and straight to bed last night so no shenanghans were able to occur... hmmmm I'll have to find a way to balance my sleep and shenanaghans evenly so as to not sacrifice one for the other.. I'll get back to you on that one. In the meantime, love you all, missed you all, thank you all for your lovely 'welcome back' messages and I will internetually communicate with all of you very soon, you truly are awesomeness in a bag.
Peace out my lovelies.
Wednesday, 12 September 2012
The mysterious Spaceballs
Something bizarre has been happening near where I live... It has left me rather perplexed and suspicious and such.
There's a road that I need to walk down between my flat and the train station. It's a long residential road and all down it, day and night, there are always cars parked in every given space on the curb.
A couple of months ago, on my way back from work I noticed that there was a DVD in the back of one of these cars, it was of the movie Spaceballs. You know it? It was pretty much a childhood regular in our household so the moment I saw it I immediately paused and gazed fondly at it as all the memories of my younger self watching the movie flooded back...
For those of you who don't know it, it's basically a spoof of all big science fiction movies, there's a lot of Star Wars in it, a bit of Alien, a dash of Star Trek and many others.
For the younger me, who wasn't really old enough for the Alien movies and hadn't got into the wonders of Science Fiction as of yet (yes, that does mean that I hadn't known what it was to experience true happiness) I had no clue what any of the references were about but I absolutely loved it, and the reason for this was two fold:
1. I knew it was a comedy so therefore should be funny and hence I felt I owed it to myself to laugh in all the right places otherwise I might not be considered as 'cool' or 'normal.'
2. Older-Brother-Glyn did understand the jokes and found it very funny. This happened to coincide with the time of my life when I hero worshipped my older brother and so if he found something funny then I trusted him enough to think it was funny as well.
Anywho, after a while the movie wasn't watched as much and years went by where it became only a fond memory of what was once. As I reached my late teens, I was round a friends house and saw that they had this movie. Instantly the fondness came flooding back (as it had just the other month) and I waved it excitedly in said friend's face, claiming that it was of massive importance that we immediately put the movie on so that we can have an afternoon of sheer laughter and happiness. Not to mention, I now knew what Science Fiction was and, although I had not at this point got round to watching Alien, I was aware of the references that Spaceballs used (aliens bursting out of stomachs etc and so forth), as such I just knew I would finally get to watch this movie and laugh because I actually get it rather than due to pressures of peer pressure.
Said-Friend shrugged rather uninterestedly and said that we might as well. As such, I skipped and they lulled to the lounge so that we could watch the movie.
And we watched it...
And I got ready to laugh...
And it didn't come.
I mean don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed the comfort it brought as the oh so familiar memories soared back into my brain, but that was about it. All those jokes that I didn't get the first time and assumed were funny, I got this time and realised that weren't actually as funny as I had hoped and dreamed they were. I mean, it wasn't awful but my heart still did feel like it had been broken and stomped on and I gotta say, I kind of felt betrayed. Betrayed by Spaceballs, betrayed by my own memories, betrayed my peer pressure and most of all betrayed my Older-Brother-Glyn.
So I had two choices, I could either never watch the movie again and petend that I dreamt this experience, or I could watch it over and over and over again until finally I found the tear jerking laughter I had been so badly craving.
I chose the first option. I took the DVD out of the player, and ever so calmly placed it in her alhabetised drawer. I then sat down and pretended the whole thing had never happened. (You'd think after that, I would have learnt my lesson, but a mere four years later I also did the same thing with the movie Cluedo, I remember crying myself to sleep the day my parents recorded over that movie with an episode of Ballykissangel only to buy the movie and not understand how I could have fallen for the same peer pressured mistake again... stupid Older-Brother-Glyn, it took me ages to realise he had bad taste as a child).
Anywho... that's not even the mysterious bit. Back to the journey back to my flat and the fond look I was giving the memorable spaceballs movie in the back of the car (oh the joys of selective memory). For the rest of the week I walked past that same car, parked in the same spot and smiled silently to myself as the Spaceballs DVD stared out at me.
Then one day, the car and DVD was gone... or just the DVD and the car was still there just without the DVD in it's back seat anymore. I wasn't really paying that much attention to the vehicle.
I mourned for the loss of the DVD for about a day before I forgot that it had even been there... my memory hasn't been that great lately... I blame my tendency for knocking my head on inanimate objects.
A couple of months later, I was walking to the station on the other side of the road and noticed once again that the Spaceballs DVD was back in the back seat of a car... except it wasn't the same car as the one I had seen before, it was parked in completely the wrong place and the colour was all wrong. This meant only one thing, another car in the exact same road had also not only bought this movie but had also decided that it would like to store it in the back seat of their car.
I was perplexed, I could not account for it at all. It wasn't until it happened a third time, I decided that that was it, I was quite obviously being watched and for some reason they chose this completely bizarre way to screw with me...
I haven't noticed it happen for the fourth time as of yet but we'll have to wait and see. It is a mystery and I will figure it out if it kills me...
...
Unless it is the same car but they've just parked in another spot...
...
nah.
Peace out my lovelies.
There's a road that I need to walk down between my flat and the train station. It's a long residential road and all down it, day and night, there are always cars parked in every given space on the curb.
A couple of months ago, on my way back from work I noticed that there was a DVD in the back of one of these cars, it was of the movie Spaceballs. You know it? It was pretty much a childhood regular in our household so the moment I saw it I immediately paused and gazed fondly at it as all the memories of my younger self watching the movie flooded back...
For those of you who don't know it, it's basically a spoof of all big science fiction movies, there's a lot of Star Wars in it, a bit of Alien, a dash of Star Trek and many others.
For the younger me, who wasn't really old enough for the Alien movies and hadn't got into the wonders of Science Fiction as of yet (yes, that does mean that I hadn't known what it was to experience true happiness) I had no clue what any of the references were about but I absolutely loved it, and the reason for this was two fold:
1. I knew it was a comedy so therefore should be funny and hence I felt I owed it to myself to laugh in all the right places otherwise I might not be considered as 'cool' or 'normal.'
2. Older-Brother-Glyn did understand the jokes and found it very funny. This happened to coincide with the time of my life when I hero worshipped my older brother and so if he found something funny then I trusted him enough to think it was funny as well.
Anywho, after a while the movie wasn't watched as much and years went by where it became only a fond memory of what was once. As I reached my late teens, I was round a friends house and saw that they had this movie. Instantly the fondness came flooding back (as it had just the other month) and I waved it excitedly in said friend's face, claiming that it was of massive importance that we immediately put the movie on so that we can have an afternoon of sheer laughter and happiness. Not to mention, I now knew what Science Fiction was and, although I had not at this point got round to watching Alien, I was aware of the references that Spaceballs used (aliens bursting out of stomachs etc and so forth), as such I just knew I would finally get to watch this movie and laugh because I actually get it rather than due to pressures of peer pressure.
Said-Friend shrugged rather uninterestedly and said that we might as well. As such, I skipped and they lulled to the lounge so that we could watch the movie.
And we watched it...
And I got ready to laugh...
And it didn't come.
I mean don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed the comfort it brought as the oh so familiar memories soared back into my brain, but that was about it. All those jokes that I didn't get the first time and assumed were funny, I got this time and realised that weren't actually as funny as I had hoped and dreamed they were. I mean, it wasn't awful but my heart still did feel like it had been broken and stomped on and I gotta say, I kind of felt betrayed. Betrayed by Spaceballs, betrayed by my own memories, betrayed my peer pressure and most of all betrayed my Older-Brother-Glyn.
So I had two choices, I could either never watch the movie again and petend that I dreamt this experience, or I could watch it over and over and over again until finally I found the tear jerking laughter I had been so badly craving.
I chose the first option. I took the DVD out of the player, and ever so calmly placed it in her alhabetised drawer. I then sat down and pretended the whole thing had never happened. (You'd think after that, I would have learnt my lesson, but a mere four years later I also did the same thing with the movie Cluedo, I remember crying myself to sleep the day my parents recorded over that movie with an episode of Ballykissangel only to buy the movie and not understand how I could have fallen for the same peer pressured mistake again... stupid Older-Brother-Glyn, it took me ages to realise he had bad taste as a child).
Anywho... that's not even the mysterious bit. Back to the journey back to my flat and the fond look I was giving the memorable spaceballs movie in the back of the car (oh the joys of selective memory). For the rest of the week I walked past that same car, parked in the same spot and smiled silently to myself as the Spaceballs DVD stared out at me.
Then one day, the car and DVD was gone... or just the DVD and the car was still there just without the DVD in it's back seat anymore. I wasn't really paying that much attention to the vehicle.
I mourned for the loss of the DVD for about a day before I forgot that it had even been there... my memory hasn't been that great lately... I blame my tendency for knocking my head on inanimate objects.
A couple of months later, I was walking to the station on the other side of the road and noticed once again that the Spaceballs DVD was back in the back seat of a car... except it wasn't the same car as the one I had seen before, it was parked in completely the wrong place and the colour was all wrong. This meant only one thing, another car in the exact same road had also not only bought this movie but had also decided that it would like to store it in the back seat of their car.
I was perplexed, I could not account for it at all. It wasn't until it happened a third time, I decided that that was it, I was quite obviously being watched and for some reason they chose this completely bizarre way to screw with me...
I haven't noticed it happen for the fourth time as of yet but we'll have to wait and see. It is a mystery and I will figure it out if it kills me...
...
Unless it is the same car but they've just parked in another spot...
...
nah.
Peace out my lovelies.
Tuesday, 11 September 2012
Where have I been? ... Well, sleeping mainly ... wait, no, that's not it
Throughout my life I've been awesome enough to experience all sorts of fun emotionally stunted habits that have led me to be the quirky person that I am today. One of these beautiful little nuggets has been my ability to experience nightmares on a regular basis... I am telling you, my subsoncious mind is bizarre... and ever so slightly pervy and disgusting.
Anywho, I've had the nightmare thing for about 7 years and I was pretty convinced that it was the worst thing about sleeping I could experience... until a couple of weeks ago I experienced a new joy that I can happily say trumps the prior... or is at least on par with it.
Yes, you guessed it ladies and gents... I am now officially an insomniac. Oh how wonderful the experience is, to lay awake until half five in the morning, finally fall asleep to have disgusting, perverse and terrifying nightmares only to wake up at 6am. It leaves me feeling all kinds of special throughout the day!
So my reasons for not writing in this thing? Because I don't know why.
All I do know is that I certainly felt so much better when I was writing in this thing every day and I'm going to try to let out all of my thoughts and craziness onto all you lovely people so that maybe they're not running around my head instead.
So... where to begin?
Quick catch up since the last time we spoke...
Went to Scotland to see the Parents.
Started a new cross stitch while I was there. It's of a man holding up a baby. It would be an awesome 'congrats on squeezing a baby out' present... I don't actually know anyone who is currently cooking any babies but I figure that by the time I finish it (in about three or four years) someone is bound to have gotten knocked up by then... note to self, make sure it's a couple where the dad is involved, don't want to send it to anyone in a 'look what you're missing' kind of way, that may come across as a little harsh.
Also, whilst I started the cross stitch, I wanted to make sure that I got into the right mood so I watched films like Little Women and Pride and Prejudice and yelled out 'Snap!' whenever anyone on the TV was also cross stitching... you know, to add a bit more excitement to the experience.
Got robbed and other such shenanigans
Yeah, this one should probably help in my non contact with you guys recently. One night, whilst myself and Housemate-Anna was sleeping, some lovely person decided to come into our house and steal my lap top and TV. It was a highly special moment when I woke up the following morning to find my side door open and my household contents gone.
In a rush to see if anything had been disposed of in our skips (seriously the lap top and TV were on their last legs anyway, they should have realised this almost as soon as they left the house), I ran out of the side door, carrying things that needed to be put in the skip as a way of multi tasking because I'm awesome like that, and lost my footing on the first of the stone steps. Due to my hands being full, as I fell (in what felt like slow motion) down the rest of the stone steps I landed on my arm whilst my leg simultaneously smacked on the lowest step. This resulted in the biggest gash I've ever seen on my arm and my leg to swell to twice it's size. I wasn't able to walk on it for a week.
In spite of all of that, there was no lap top or TV disposed anywhere... stupid robbers.
Have continued to be neurotic on a daily basis
So it may appear that by not telling you guys my neuroses as they happen, I'm just penting them all up into one massive neurotic mess. It's been causing me all sorts of problems, let me tell you. I've found a new way of letting them out which is via song, I am currently in the process of writing a song about relationships which I promise, should I ever complete and record, I will put on this website.
Other than that, I've been keeping with my normal neuroses, increasing my actions on others and also creating brand new ones as well so make sure I'm completely bizarre instead of just quirky... if you were wondering, below is the scale I adhere by:
Square - - Has their moments - - Quirky - - Neurotic - - Best to avoid - - Completely Bizarre - - Should probably be admitted
Feel free to assign yourself to whichever you feel best describes you. There are descriptions for each but I'll leave that for another day.
All in all it has been a while and I will endeavour to ensure that it isn't in the future.
Much love and kisses
Peace out my lovelies.
Anywho, I've had the nightmare thing for about 7 years and I was pretty convinced that it was the worst thing about sleeping I could experience... until a couple of weeks ago I experienced a new joy that I can happily say trumps the prior... or is at least on par with it.
Yes, you guessed it ladies and gents... I am now officially an insomniac. Oh how wonderful the experience is, to lay awake until half five in the morning, finally fall asleep to have disgusting, perverse and terrifying nightmares only to wake up at 6am. It leaves me feeling all kinds of special throughout the day!
So my reasons for not writing in this thing? Because I don't know why.
All I do know is that I certainly felt so much better when I was writing in this thing every day and I'm going to try to let out all of my thoughts and craziness onto all you lovely people so that maybe they're not running around my head instead.
So... where to begin?
Quick catch up since the last time we spoke...
Went to Scotland to see the Parents.
Started a new cross stitch while I was there. It's of a man holding up a baby. It would be an awesome 'congrats on squeezing a baby out' present... I don't actually know anyone who is currently cooking any babies but I figure that by the time I finish it (in about three or four years) someone is bound to have gotten knocked up by then... note to self, make sure it's a couple where the dad is involved, don't want to send it to anyone in a 'look what you're missing' kind of way, that may come across as a little harsh.
Also, whilst I started the cross stitch, I wanted to make sure that I got into the right mood so I watched films like Little Women and Pride and Prejudice and yelled out 'Snap!' whenever anyone on the TV was also cross stitching... you know, to add a bit more excitement to the experience.
Got robbed and other such shenanigans
Yeah, this one should probably help in my non contact with you guys recently. One night, whilst myself and Housemate-Anna was sleeping, some lovely person decided to come into our house and steal my lap top and TV. It was a highly special moment when I woke up the following morning to find my side door open and my household contents gone.
In a rush to see if anything had been disposed of in our skips (seriously the lap top and TV were on their last legs anyway, they should have realised this almost as soon as they left the house), I ran out of the side door, carrying things that needed to be put in the skip as a way of multi tasking because I'm awesome like that, and lost my footing on the first of the stone steps. Due to my hands being full, as I fell (in what felt like slow motion) down the rest of the stone steps I landed on my arm whilst my leg simultaneously smacked on the lowest step. This resulted in the biggest gash I've ever seen on my arm and my leg to swell to twice it's size. I wasn't able to walk on it for a week.
In spite of all of that, there was no lap top or TV disposed anywhere... stupid robbers.
Have continued to be neurotic on a daily basis
So it may appear that by not telling you guys my neuroses as they happen, I'm just penting them all up into one massive neurotic mess. It's been causing me all sorts of problems, let me tell you. I've found a new way of letting them out which is via song, I am currently in the process of writing a song about relationships which I promise, should I ever complete and record, I will put on this website.
Other than that, I've been keeping with my normal neuroses, increasing my actions on others and also creating brand new ones as well so make sure I'm completely bizarre instead of just quirky... if you were wondering, below is the scale I adhere by:
Square - - Has their moments - - Quirky - - Neurotic - - Best to avoid - - Completely Bizarre - - Should probably be admitted
Feel free to assign yourself to whichever you feel best describes you. There are descriptions for each but I'll leave that for another day.
All in all it has been a while and I will endeavour to ensure that it isn't in the future.
Much love and kisses
Peace out my lovelies.
Thursday, 31 May 2012
You... you... scrummy little person you.
Hey you.
Might I just say that you are looking stunning today. I mean phwoar!! Well done you for having a face like yours. You really know how to work it! And those clothes? My.days. You are one sexy and fashionable individual. As for the way you speak? Well, let's just say it gives me tingles. I mean real shivers all the way down my spine. I could listen to those dolcet tones for the rest of my life.
Don't even get me started on that thing you're really good at! Oh.wow. Seriously amazing on so many levels. I am in awe of your natural talent. I wish I could be as naturally talented as you. You are simply a genius at that thing! A.complete.genius.
Also, that thing that you're not good at? I just wish I was as good at being not good at something as you are. You totally beat me in that area. Only you could take a fault and do it to such an extreme that it becomes amazing and once again makes you the leader in your field for being bad at that one thing.
I mean seriously, do you ever get tired of being so unbelievably awesome? Do you ever wake up and think "Man, it is such a burden being me"? I'm telling you now, if I were as awesome as you I would struggle under the strain of the awesomeness. There are literally no words to describe the description of the awesomeness that you emanate.
The other day I watched you pick up that thing and thought to myself, 'One day, if I could just pick up that thing like you did, then I would be happy to die right there and then, knowing that I was dying a happy son of a gun.'
Anyway, I know you are busy being amazing and although you would never say it, on the account of you being so freakin kickass, I do not want to waste anymore of your valuable time as I know you could probably be using it to do all the out of this world things that you do... like breathing. Man, the way you do it with such ease? I have never known anyone to convert oxygen into carbon dioxide in such delicious way as you do with every second of every day.
I'll just leave you with this hidden secret that I've been carrying with me for quite some time, something that I'm not too sure I've properly expressed in the above text.
...
You rock.
And I love you.
Lisa
... Sometimes it's nice to have something nice to read.
Peace out my lovelies.
Might I just say that you are looking stunning today. I mean phwoar!! Well done you for having a face like yours. You really know how to work it! And those clothes? My.days. You are one sexy and fashionable individual. As for the way you speak? Well, let's just say it gives me tingles. I mean real shivers all the way down my spine. I could listen to those dolcet tones for the rest of my life.
Don't even get me started on that thing you're really good at! Oh.wow. Seriously amazing on so many levels. I am in awe of your natural talent. I wish I could be as naturally talented as you. You are simply a genius at that thing! A.complete.genius.
Also, that thing that you're not good at? I just wish I was as good at being not good at something as you are. You totally beat me in that area. Only you could take a fault and do it to such an extreme that it becomes amazing and once again makes you the leader in your field for being bad at that one thing.
I mean seriously, do you ever get tired of being so unbelievably awesome? Do you ever wake up and think "Man, it is such a burden being me"? I'm telling you now, if I were as awesome as you I would struggle under the strain of the awesomeness. There are literally no words to describe the description of the awesomeness that you emanate.
The other day I watched you pick up that thing and thought to myself, 'One day, if I could just pick up that thing like you did, then I would be happy to die right there and then, knowing that I was dying a happy son of a gun.'
Anyway, I know you are busy being amazing and although you would never say it, on the account of you being so freakin kickass, I do not want to waste anymore of your valuable time as I know you could probably be using it to do all the out of this world things that you do... like breathing. Man, the way you do it with such ease? I have never known anyone to convert oxygen into carbon dioxide in such delicious way as you do with every second of every day.
I'll just leave you with this hidden secret that I've been carrying with me for quite some time, something that I'm not too sure I've properly expressed in the above text.
...
You rock.
And I love you.
Lisa
... Sometimes it's nice to have something nice to read.
Peace out my lovelies.
Wednesday, 30 May 2012
Lack of money is not a problem when you keep your standards really low.
It has come to my attention that I negated to talk about the large population of British people that in fact do not like the hot weather in my last post. There was a reason for this... I covered this topic last year and I'm nothing if not fresh and current with every new post... sometimes. However, if you would like a full picture of just how fickle our lovely collection of islands are, then please feel free to read here.
Today has been one of those days where I have found myself running around the place where I work. Or as I like to call it, my annual trip to the gym. Yes, today I have come the closest to what I constitute as exercise and I have to admit, I feel the pounds dropping off me as I talk. Not only that, but I have started this amazing new diet which is called the "No money for food" diet. All it consists of is scraping into the depths of my pockets for enough money for four cans of tuna and two packets of noodles and then looking forward the designated time of the day where I treat myself by eating. It really is a good way at creating silver linings around the depression that is the recession.
When I see the chance to eat as a treat rather than a necessity for living, it also becomes a lot better to handle. It's like... hey, I could either not eat at all today and probably not die or I could treat myself to a nice tasty bowl of tuna and feel even closer to not dying! Hurrah to me! Treats are awesome.
In case anyone is wondering, yes I did move out of the flat that sucked all my money out of my account and into a much more money friendly flat but alas the extent of the money grabbing of my last flat still demands of me that I'm less picky about my sustenance in the current climate. Have no fear however, because I have a plan in place for more work and next week I'm considering replacing the noodles for baked beans in a can with little pork sausages inside. You know, give me something new to look forward to! I may have to splash out and buy some bread for the possibility of beans on toast, however I am confident that my budget should be able to cover it. It's worth giving yourself a little treat every now and again! Oooh, I think I'm going to by Hovis bread, be really dangerous! Okay now I am mega excited for next week, it will be such an exciting time!
So this is my new outlook on life and the rubbishness of no money because bank people stole it from me... I shall instead see it as an adventure! What small excitement can I bring out of today's allocated 50p?? Oooh! Only time will tell! Come on guys, know you're excited with me! It's okay, you can show it!
Peace out my lovelies.
Today has been one of those days where I have found myself running around the place where I work. Or as I like to call it, my annual trip to the gym. Yes, today I have come the closest to what I constitute as exercise and I have to admit, I feel the pounds dropping off me as I talk. Not only that, but I have started this amazing new diet which is called the "No money for food" diet. All it consists of is scraping into the depths of my pockets for enough money for four cans of tuna and two packets of noodles and then looking forward the designated time of the day where I treat myself by eating. It really is a good way at creating silver linings around the depression that is the recession.
When I see the chance to eat as a treat rather than a necessity for living, it also becomes a lot better to handle. It's like... hey, I could either not eat at all today and probably not die or I could treat myself to a nice tasty bowl of tuna and feel even closer to not dying! Hurrah to me! Treats are awesome.
In case anyone is wondering, yes I did move out of the flat that sucked all my money out of my account and into a much more money friendly flat but alas the extent of the money grabbing of my last flat still demands of me that I'm less picky about my sustenance in the current climate. Have no fear however, because I have a plan in place for more work and next week I'm considering replacing the noodles for baked beans in a can with little pork sausages inside. You know, give me something new to look forward to! I may have to splash out and buy some bread for the possibility of beans on toast, however I am confident that my budget should be able to cover it. It's worth giving yourself a little treat every now and again! Oooh, I think I'm going to by Hovis bread, be really dangerous! Okay now I am mega excited for next week, it will be such an exciting time!
So this is my new outlook on life and the rubbishness of no money because bank people stole it from me... I shall instead see it as an adventure! What small excitement can I bring out of today's allocated 50p?? Oooh! Only time will tell! Come on guys, know you're excited with me! It's okay, you can show it!
Peace out my lovelies.
Tuesday, 29 May 2012
It ain't half hot... wishful thinking and a mind that likes to wander.
The weather has been amazeballs this week. I was reluctant to talk about this as it seems that whenever the weather gets really nice this always tends to become my topic of conversation... like I'm part of some awkward conversation with someone I don't know very well and all there is to talk about is the state of the weather which lasts for like 3 minutes max before the conversation dies out and we're left standing together in a crowded room, holding onto our drinks and shuffling our feet uncomfortably as there is literally nothing else to say. Of course this then leads to both of us glancing desperately around the room at other people's conversations and actions, hoping for all that is righteous and good in the world that someone does something embarrassing like trip over their own feet or drop an entire platter of food just so we can turn our attention to that and then begin another blissful three minutes of amusing comments over their mishap as finally someone's discomfort is bigger than ours... until those three minutes are up and there are no more witty anecdotes to make about the other random stranger so that we're back to the same uncomfortable shuffling of feet and clearing of throats, once again searching for someone else in the room, this time looking for someone who we know so that we can say "I have to go say hi to that person over there, I haven't seen them in ages!" (Secretly knowing that we came with said person and see them almost every day). And although this will be a lie, both parties are more than happy to accept it and breathe a sigh of relief as we walk off to talk to someone who won't leave us feeling comfortable and actually start enjoying ourselves...
Except it's not like that at all because I don't feel awkward with any of you, I highly enjoy our conversations and being socially awkward is completely accepted in these circles as it has to be the one thing on some level that joins us all together in one beautiful socially awkward and emotionally stunted circle.
So my actual reason for wanting to talk about the weather has little to do with small talk and is actually more about the fact that nice weather hardly ever happens in England and so when it does happen everyone is thrown into such a hurrah that it becomes the only thing that we can talk about, knowing full well that this week of gorgeous heat and blazing sunshine will probably be what constitutes as our summer and soon it will start raining and become chilly and we'll look back fondly at this time whilst commenting that our summer this year seemed a little longer than it had been last year.
It's already coming to a close. There are threats of rain this afternoon. My friendly neighbourhood radio station this morning woke me up with the news along with the comments that all of us were already thinking which was, "if we all wish hard enough, maybe the rainclouds will simply go away." I feel like I should be in an episode of Care Bears, the whole country getting together, closing our eyes and wishing that our dreams can come true.
So far, although it has become slightly overcast, there has been no rain so we are all very excited as a nation.
In other news, I found myself completely aghast at my blatant lack of regard for the internet as yesterday I discovered that a new Starkid production had been put on youtube over a month ago and I was completely oblivious to it until last night. This fact alone left me feeling like I had failed as a person, which I'm sure you'll all agree is an adequate realisation to such an act. (For those of you who are saying "Starkid? Who are these people?" Please, please go and check them out. You may need several hours to go through their entire work but they are a theatre company who put on full productions and then upload the entire thing onto youtube. They are highly funny and definitely worth a look at.)
Anywho, they have a new production out called Holy Musical B@man. Which I made Housemate-Anna watch with me last night. Initially (being a more 'talk to people I can actually see rather than people I meet on the internet' person) Housemate-Anna was a little dubious about my choice of evening entertainment. Expecially when a man (Jo Walker) came onto the stage dressed in a very 70's style batman outfit with a plane model around his torso pretending to fly around Gothom. However, once she heard the song he sung about how he was so lonely without his mama and papa and how he needed a friend apart from his rubbish butler, I think she was converted.
Needless to say that I am scratching back my points on the internet by converting as many noobs as possible. Housemate-Anna is generally open to new and interesting TV shows that I might throw her way. She has drawn the line on Doctor Who, which I have taken at sheer blasphemy and almost found myself close to moving out, but then I thought... why not see it as a challenge? If I can get her into Starkid, The IT Crowd, Dawson's Creek, Phone Shop and even, for a total of five minutes before she realised what it was, Torchwood (the spin off series from Doctor Who) then there is still hope. My TV favs will be her TV favs. All I have to do is sit her in front of Flight of the Conchords and I am edging my way closer and closer to the ultimate goal... I will brainwash her. It is my duty as one of those weird housemates who doesn't really engage with the real world and prefers to spend her life wandering around the imaginary one. Wish me luck!
Peace out my lovelies
Except it's not like that at all because I don't feel awkward with any of you, I highly enjoy our conversations and being socially awkward is completely accepted in these circles as it has to be the one thing on some level that joins us all together in one beautiful socially awkward and emotionally stunted circle.
So my actual reason for wanting to talk about the weather has little to do with small talk and is actually more about the fact that nice weather hardly ever happens in England and so when it does happen everyone is thrown into such a hurrah that it becomes the only thing that we can talk about, knowing full well that this week of gorgeous heat and blazing sunshine will probably be what constitutes as our summer and soon it will start raining and become chilly and we'll look back fondly at this time whilst commenting that our summer this year seemed a little longer than it had been last year.
It's already coming to a close. There are threats of rain this afternoon. My friendly neighbourhood radio station this morning woke me up with the news along with the comments that all of us were already thinking which was, "if we all wish hard enough, maybe the rainclouds will simply go away." I feel like I should be in an episode of Care Bears, the whole country getting together, closing our eyes and wishing that our dreams can come true.
So far, although it has become slightly overcast, there has been no rain so we are all very excited as a nation.
In other news, I found myself completely aghast at my blatant lack of regard for the internet as yesterday I discovered that a new Starkid production had been put on youtube over a month ago and I was completely oblivious to it until last night. This fact alone left me feeling like I had failed as a person, which I'm sure you'll all agree is an adequate realisation to such an act. (For those of you who are saying "Starkid? Who are these people?" Please, please go and check them out. You may need several hours to go through their entire work but they are a theatre company who put on full productions and then upload the entire thing onto youtube. They are highly funny and definitely worth a look at.)
Anywho, they have a new production out called Holy Musical B@man. Which I made Housemate-Anna watch with me last night. Initially (being a more 'talk to people I can actually see rather than people I meet on the internet' person) Housemate-Anna was a little dubious about my choice of evening entertainment. Expecially when a man (Jo Walker) came onto the stage dressed in a very 70's style batman outfit with a plane model around his torso pretending to fly around Gothom. However, once she heard the song he sung about how he was so lonely without his mama and papa and how he needed a friend apart from his rubbish butler, I think she was converted.
Needless to say that I am scratching back my points on the internet by converting as many noobs as possible. Housemate-Anna is generally open to new and interesting TV shows that I might throw her way. She has drawn the line on Doctor Who, which I have taken at sheer blasphemy and almost found myself close to moving out, but then I thought... why not see it as a challenge? If I can get her into Starkid, The IT Crowd, Dawson's Creek, Phone Shop and even, for a total of five minutes before she realised what it was, Torchwood (the spin off series from Doctor Who) then there is still hope. My TV favs will be her TV favs. All I have to do is sit her in front of Flight of the Conchords and I am edging my way closer and closer to the ultimate goal... I will brainwash her. It is my duty as one of those weird housemates who doesn't really engage with the real world and prefers to spend her life wandering around the imaginary one. Wish me luck!
Peace out my lovelies
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