Sunday, 16 December 2012

Just in case you have a burning secret you want to tell me and shizzle

Hey peeps!

It was brought to my attention recently that I'm a little hard to contact should anyone really need to... aside from my blog, twitter, facebook fan page, my other blog and my other blog. But all of these are open for everyone to look at all the comments made and so if anyone of you beautiful chickadees fancied tellling me a secret you wouldn't be able to because there's no way.

As such, I decided that it was probably a good idea to get myself one of those new fangled electronic messaging things... I think they call them 'Shemail?'... Something like that anyway.

This process I decided to do via hotmail as it tends to be my go to place when I want to receive mail electronically. I went to fill in the form and enjoy the wonderful process that is 'trying to find an email address that hasn't been used yet on an email provider that caters for the entire world and has done since the internet was created.'


This was not a fun process.

I mean, it was... but for like five seconds until the fifteen thousandth email address I had tried was rejected and I was ready to throw my brand new lap top across the room in a move I was certain I would probably regret after I had done it...

Anywho, I started out with this little exercise all full of gusto and hope. Stupidly thinking that I could get away with using an email address like 'randomemailofaplum' or 'emailofaplum'. This was not the case. Instead I got the annoying little message from hotmail saying that it was not available.

So then I thought, well I can still have this awesome email address, I just need to add a complex amount of numbers after it and then things will be great. I started with the ever optimistic number 10 as this is the number on my username and so really easy to remember.


I then went on to try a series of ridiculously long and complicated numbers that meant something to me so that I would remember it when it came to giving out said address, but that might be considered as too random for others to have used...

Obviously someone else was using the same secret number codes that I use. Not only that but they also consider themselves to be a plum who likes to be random in their thoughts and emails. I died a little inside over this as I felt my own individuality disappear through a deep and dark crevice. However, I didn't want this email provider to win in destroying my own creativeness. So I began to expand on the theme of email and plum, hoping that something would come out of it that would restore my sanity.

The options I went through (with added numbers and shizzle as well) were these:


and so on and so forth.

All of these not only had been taken but they had been taken enough times that adding 2785 at the end still came back as taken... I have never felt so generic...

So of course, by this point I was beginning to lose all kinds and forms of patience. Not only did I have to cotinuiously try email accounts that continued to state that I had a boring and unimaginative brain, but I also had to enter in that stupid little box code thing each time to prove that I wasn't some robot made of spam or something.

I was losing it well and truly. I was getting angry and IT WAS ALL HOTMAIL'S FAULT. As such, I decided to take it out on them by slagging them off in my new email address suggestions:


and so and so forth.

You guessed it people. All of these were already taken... I don't think I was particularly surprised by this given that I couldn't think of anyone having to go through this process and not then resorting to email addresses complaining of the frustrations involved in said email address.

I'm not ashamed to say that this was the point where I was getting frustrated to the point where there were actual tears forming in my eyes (I have had a very weird day today, my emotions aren't playing nice at all).

I wanted to scream... so I did. But of course, because I am one of those people who prefer to express my emotions internetually rather than deal with them in real life like a normal person. I resorted to typing my scream rather than actually speaking it out, (I didn't want to terrify The-Five-Year-Old).

So I wrote the following in the 'email suggestion' section:


Then realising that this was an email for my blog and so should have something in relation to the blog I changed it slightly:


I hit enter.

It went through.

It was accepted.

Due to this, ladies and gents, I now have a new email address that it completely unique without any numbers to prove that someone else is exactly like me... It is unique. My frustrations with the world and my choices in how to spell the sound of screaming and mixing it with a fruit is unique. Huzzah!!

So all that being said. If you would now like to contact me and have lots of secret conversations with me about secret things that may or may not then end up being published on this blog because... well... come on, you can't tell a person who writes every aspect of their every day down for the world to see, a secret and expect them to keep it... that's just ridiculous, then go ahead and write me a little something. I like getting mail.

Little tip when spelling the scream is to use 5 a's 5r's 4g's and 5h's. I would hate for you to spell it wrong and end up speaking to my doppleganger who grew up learning to spell her scream a little differently.

My new email address is:

I'm working on sucking up to Younger-Brother-Daniel (who is responsible for the beautiful design you see on this blog) to get him to design the shizzle out of the email address so that it will appear down the side. Hopefully that will happen over Christmas!

Peace out my lovelies.

No comments:

Post a Comment