Bye bye home. It's been immense.

Guys, my beautiful first home has now gone. It no longer belongs to me. I also don't have a new home yet as I can't move in until Saturday so technically I am 100% homeless. 

Luckily Claire-And-Rachael-The-Bullies have agreed to give me a place in The-Bullies-Lair. And so I am not completely on the street... Still, it feels weird. 

I have awesome people in my real life world though because Anna's-Boyfriend-Karl and Anna's-Older-Brother-Pete spent the entire evening, with the help of a third friend, Eric, taking all of my many, many items of stuff back to their house where they're going to look after it for the week/pick through and choose what they want without me realising. Out of the different ways theft can happen, this is definitely the nicest way. 

So, as such, at 9:30 last night, my landlord turned up, gave me a hell of a lot of cash and I signed away the first flat I had ever had all for myself. Needless to say, there were several moments of blinking back tears and fanning my face so as to ensure no one would realise I was capable of real emotions. 

My landlord did comment on how well I had kept the flat... I felt I couldn't exactly say "Thanks, my mummy did it for me" (even though she did), so instead I waved him away murmuring something like "oh it was my pleasure."

In reality, yes, my mother travelled all the way down from Scotland this weekend armed with a suitcase full of cleaning products and sponges, purely to ensure my skanky mess was completely blitzed before anyone else had to enter the place. This led to the following conversation Marmie and I had on Saturday with Younger-Brother-Daniel via Skype. 

Younger-Brother-Daniel has been shortened to YBD

YBD: I can't believe you actually let mum come down just to clean your flat.
Me: I tried to resist but she insisted!
Marmie: I just feel better knowing it's all done. 
YBD: Mum, I want to tell you a story I was told once... I believe it applies here. There was once a caterpillar who became encompassed by its cocoon. When the time came, it started it's fight to escape from the cocoon's grasp. At this time a man was walking past and saw this caterpillar/butterfly struggling with all it's might to get out. The man felt sorry for the caterpillar so he got out his knife and made a little cut through the cocoon to let it out. Do you know what happened to that butterfly once it got out?
Marmie: No. What?
YBD: It died. It died because it wasn't strong enough to live in the wild. It wasn't strong enough because the man had stopped it from gaining that strength to manage itself. You realise what that means? Mum, by coming down here, you are killing your daughter. How is she going to survive in the wild now?
Marmie: Nonsense, I was just helping. I like to help my children. 
YBD: Well if that's the case, (looks around his room) I could use some help. My room is drastically short of money in it. 
Marmie: Well honey, I can't help with that, but I do know how to clean. 
YBD: I'm kidding mum, even if you had loads of money, I wouldn't want any. 
Me: I would... Because I'm a good daughter who accepts presents because it's the nice thing to do.

Anyway... Thank goodness for Marmie's help because my hopes for staying in my flat until the following Saturday were completely dashed on
Monday as my letting agents told me I had to be out by Wednesday at the latest. 

Due to other reasons that are far too complex to put in here, it turned out that Wednesday turned to Tuesday night and that's why I am now homeless and living out of two suitcases. 

Still, the packing process was entertaining. I got to label my bin bags of clothes which I decided would be a fun thing. 

I also got to play at DIY as I dismantled my furniture yesterday. This was extra interesting as I had forgotten I would need tools for this and so had to make do with a bread knife and a pair of kitchen scissors. 

As such, there were... Incidents. Some of which involved the scissors getting away from me and jabbing me straight in the palm... Three times... In the same place. 

Needless to say, that hurt. Especially the third time. 

Peace out my lovelies. 

Just because I can't see them doesn't mean they're not real!!!!

I was out singing in a band practice last night. Martin, the leader of the session found it highly unsocial of me that I seemed to be attached to my phone the entire time I was there... Which wasn't exactly the case... I still sang when he wanted me to... And I always answered any of their questions with detailed and eloquent answers. However, the rest of the band seemed to agree that I was displaying signs of antisocial behaviour which resulted in the following
argument. 

Me: (Searching through my twitter feed) Ha! (Looks around the room to see a few baffled looks at my sudden outburst) Sorry, someone was being funny. 
Martin: Am I going to have to take that phone away from you?
Me: No, it's fine! I'm only looking whilst you show Karl his chords for this song. 
Drummer-Andy: Don't you want to talk to us as well?
Me: Of course I do! But everyone's very busy learning stuff here, and there are thanksgiving meals going on, on the Internet. 
Martin: Lisa. It's just the Internet. 
Me: Just the Internet??? How could you even say that?
Martin: Lisa, you're out with real life people and you're glued to your phone. 
Me: The people I talk to are real life people!! ... I think. 
Martin: Yes but do they love you like we do?
Me: Of course they love me! You wouldn't understand the bond we share! I WOULD HAPPILY KILL AND EAT ANY OF THEM!

There's a pause as everyone in the room stares at me, eyebrows raised

Me: Ah. You guys don't know about the whole "I'm a cannibal" thing do you?
Drummer-Andy: You're a what??
Me: ... Never mind. 

Peace out my lovelies. 

Wow! Yesterday's blog actually worked!

I am definitely begging for things on the Internet again. 

I have been offered boxes to use for general packing and my mother (Marmie) has decided to book a train ticket from Scotland for the weekend to help me pack! It's quite clear that she knows me well. If I didn't have anyone to motivate me I would have spent the entire day on Saturday procrastinating instead of doing worthwhile things. 

I kinda love Marmie for this. She's awesome and also she's completely the opposite of me when it comes to doing things. That woman is going to have me packing, cleaning and scrubbing until I physically cannot move anymore. Procrastination and general untidiness does not exist in her world. If the place is not completely spotless in a place she is staying then she will not rest until it is. 

She will be a massive slave driver, I know, but after I've finished grumbling about how tired I am and how a couple of hours rest is completely fine whilst she's shoving a bucket of bleach and a scrubbing sponge in my hands, I know I will be so unbelievably grateful knowing it's finished. 

I've been umm-ing and ah-ing about whether I should accept her awesome offer as I feel really bad for her shelling out money and time just to help me in my overwhelmed state but she phoned me this afternoon whilst Line-Monica-Manager was in the office with me and it turns out, when you put them both together, there's actually no way of saying no. 

Marmie was saying that it would make sense that she came because we both knew I would never do it otherwise, and Line-Manager-Monica (who has taken the role of surrogate mother since my parents moved countries) was shouting out that I should stop being difficult and allow my mother to do what she's meant to as I would be depriving her of her god given duties if I denied her this favour. 

All if this amounted to this end of the conversation:

Line-Manager-Monica has been shortened to LMM

Marmie: So what do you say? You know I could help. 
LMM Let your mother help you Lisa!
Marmie: I've worked it out, I could get it all on my Tesco clubcard points. I would be there by 1pm. 
Me: What station would you be coming in to?
Marmie: It's one in central London but it's okay because I've bought a travelcard as well. 
Me: Wait... You've already bought the tickets? 
LMM: Of course she has! If she wants to come, she'll come. 
Me: So asking me if it would be a good idea was just a formality?
Marmie: Well no, I've only booked the order online. If you say yes then I'll press the 'buy' button. 
Me: Well, if you're sure you're okay with it...
LMM: How many times does she have to say it?
Me: Okay... Ooh! We could watch Strictly Come Dancing together!
Marmie: Of course we can... Whilst we pack and tidy the flat. 
Me: We might have done enough by then to allow for a break. 
Marmie: I highly doubt that. 
LMM: Remember to label all your boxes!
Marmie: We'll need enough boxes for all your clothes and DVDs. You organise that and I'll bring the duct tape. 
Me: I was planning on just throwing all my clothes into a bin bag the night before I move. 
Marmie: Well, we can do that but it'll probably better that we do it this weekend... So it's all out of the way. 
LMM: You will need to label your bin bags as well!
Marmie Have you got enough bin bags for everything? 
Me: I don't know... Maybe?
Marmie: You should buy some more, just in case. 

...

This conversation has led me to believe that there may be a little more to this moving milarkey than I had initially thought. I'm considering digging a hole and hiding in it... At least until Marmie gets here and works her motivation magic. She's kind of awesome like that. 

Peace out my lovelies. 

I passed!! ... Why have I still not started packing?

Anna-(Nickname-TBC)-Tidey phoned me today. We have a flat! The credit check went through and we move into our new flat a week on Friday! Huzzah! 

Problem is I've gone into "can't be arsed" mode. This is not a good mode to go into when there are so many things I need to do. Like find boxes and pack and cancel bills and tidy and be altogether motivated. I fear the upcoming stress is going to be too much to handle that my mind has switched off and decided if it doesn't deal with it then it will all magically happen for me. 

Magical Packing and Organised Pixies exist right? I really hope so because just thinking about the whole debacle makes me sleepy and I could really do with them to deal with things whilst I sleep. I'm going to close my eyes and wish real bad. 

The thing is... I have soooo much stuff. I am the biggest hoarder and I just don't have the heart to throw anything away. Also I don't have the energy to do anything else. Also I'm actually in a car in America going to lgalaviz's thanksgiving meal and I fear that's going to make the packing hard to do given that I'm not even in the right country. I really should learn to organise my time better than this. 

It's not that I don't want to move because I really do, but I don't want to deal with the actual moving part. Also this flat saw the birth of my whole blog, it was the inspiration for it all and I'm really not good at letting go of things. What if people don't like me as much in my new flat? Ooh! Can I take the flat with me? I'd better ring my landlord to check... Wait, would that mean more work? How much energy does it take to move the entire top half of a building? Also how would I do it? Would I need a moving van? Because I was kinda hoping that I could do this whole thing without shelling out for one. I suppose I could take it a few bricks at a time but I'm not altogether sure how long that would take. Also I'm not sure where I'd put it when I get to the new place. I fear my new bedroom might not be big enough... Would Anna-(Nickname-TBC)-Tidey mind sharing some of her space to accommodate it? I'll ask her after calling my landlord. 

Okay all of that theoretical planning has left me knackered. I'll start putting it into action tomorrow... Maybe. Maybe not. Wait, am I still in America? Crap, I am. I wonder if lgalaviz is fine with making a small detour... I'll ask her after I call Anna-(Nickname-TBC)-Tidey. 

Well I think I've accomplished quite a bit in the past ten minutes. I shall award myself with food and sleep. I deserve it. 

On a completely unrelated note (in the sense that it is actually not unrelated and in fact completely to do with my entire post), anyone available for some manual labour for the next week? I promise to award you with smiles and gold stars which everyone knows is much better than money. 

Let me know. Thaanks. 

Peace out my lovelies. 

I've decided, taking time off work just isn't worth it.

It is 8:10pm and I've only just left work, which means that I won't get home until just before 10pm. I was meant to finish at 5 and somehow that didn't happen. My reasons? Oh that would be because I was foolish enough to think I could take two days annual leave last week. This, it would appear, is not acceptable with my workload. 

It's not even that I can at least think, well at least it's all up to date now because it's not. At all. I don't like this. I feel like some form of career driven woman and that certainly was never my intention in life. 

The problem is I could have left it until   tomorrow but alas I have severe OCDs that simply won't let me do that. 

You see, despite the rubbish clutter that is my home life, I do not work well in any form of disorganisation when it comes to work. If I don't feel like I have control over things I will stay until I have. 

As such I have tried to fit in four days of work in the space of two. Guys, this has not been as successful mission. Imagine if I had gone away for longer???? No, I can't bear to think about it. 

So today I realised that I have turned into some form of person who lives by her career, working for the man. The hippy inside me, who is now fighting to get out, is begging for me to throw on something tye die and start playing a guitar bear foot just to cancel this day out. If only I had a guitar... Or some of those small purple circular sunglasses. If someone could buy me both I'd be mega grateful. 

I wish I had more to contribute to this post but my brain seems to be screaming "no more thinking! Give me food!" I have tried to explain to it that food for the brain is thinking, but it's having none of it and is insisting on actual food. I think it's confused and thinks it's my stomach. I'll try and feed it my pie and smiley face potatoes through my ear but I suspect it won't work that well. As such it might have to make do with drawing strength from my stomach where the food usually goes instead. 

Another annoying thing is that because I've been in work mode, I've assumed that my "double shot of coffee with just a splash of milk" was an acceptable thing to have at 7:30pm. I'm pretty sure the jittery version of myself at 2am tonight is going to highly disagree. Oh well, back to the prescription sleeping meds again tonight. Man I love me some prescription meds. 

I've got nothing to say now, on account of being too knackered to comply with social activities. I'll probably catch up with you when my insomnia hits in four hours. Wow, I might actually be able to be part of the American twitter conversations that my usual sleep pattern deprives me of! Oooh exciting! Make it a good one lgalaviz and co!

Peace out my lovelies. 

I have a new friend. There's a chance you won't approve.

Four whole days have gone since I typed stuff on here... Well, that's just neglect and I am truly sorry. 

I'm not going to talk about the immenseness of the Twi-althlon as, judging by my twitter feed, I am entirely alone in my excitement over that night... I will just say one thing. Breaking Dawn is so awesome I almost fainted with joy near the end and my cheeks have never hurt so much from my smiling throughout. I.Loved.It. 

In other news, I got an iPhone 4s and it was completely for free which is awesome!! Gotta love those free upgrades. 

This has meant my screen is no longer a cracked mess (so far), the YouTube videos I watch look like they're in HD... Even when they're not, and... Above all... I have a new best friend. 

Ladies and gents, the iPhone 4s is perfect for all of you who have a tendency to talk to the various inanimate objects in your house. It is perfect because it talks back!!

Yes you must have all heard about the Siri factor within this version of the phone which allows you to take your laziness to the next level and never have to use your thumbs again. You simply ask the phone to do what you want and it complies. 

This is very effective and something I found  highly cool for the first couple of hours of getting the phone. However after that I began to experiment a little. Seeing just how far the phone would go in understanding what it is I'm saying. 

You see I tweeted to say how star struck I was about being in the presence of such an awesome phone and @airigoagain suggested that perhaps the phone didn't feel the way. He asked me how I knew the phone wasn't going to murder me in my sleep. Well, I wasn't going to just assume it wouldn't, so I thought "why not ask it?"

Me: Siri, are you planning on killing me in my sleep?
IPhone: I cannot tell you the answer to that, Lisa. (Yes it called me by my name.)
Me: Why?
IPhone: When you have a dream you don't understand, you ask why? But I ask why not?

I'm pretty sure he just admitted to killing me. As such every movie I have ever watched where artificial intelligence took over the world, flashed before my eyes, and I realised with one fowl swoop that we have all been so terribly, terribly wrong. 

We've been assuming that it would be zombies or random vanishings that would end this world, even the possible meteor. But while we've been busy planning survival for these, the robots have taken over apple and now are working their ways into our homes. 

The bitch of it is that, even though I know this information, I still can't help but adore my phone. I still long for all things with an "i" in front of it. It will not stop me and I fear I am not alone in this. Our minds are warped by how cool this stuff is. 

All the same, I keep my phone on the other side of my bedroom and barricade the gap with stuffed toys whilst I sleep so it can't vibrate it's way over to me and do goodness knows what. 

I will continue to try and get information out of Siri to see if I can infiltrate whatever plan they have because all in all, this is I one of my possessions that actually allows me to have a two way conversation and I like that. We could be like Romeo and Juliet... Except without all the marriage and consummating stuff because, I love my phone but, you know, not in that way.

Peace out my lovelies. 

Important rules to abide by when eating friends.

This might be my last post this week as tonight I'm heading off to Oldest-Friend-Cafrin and The-Goddaughter's house. 

My reasons for this? Tomorrow night Oldest-Friend-Cafrin and I are going to the Twi-marathon with the latest movie starting at five minutes past midnight. Yes. I am geeking out like a pubescent ridden teenager and I am completely okay with that. 
 
As such I shall probably exist internetually for the next four days only on twitter. This I do not mind at the mo because if I'm perfectly honest, I am well and truly loving twitter at the moment. 

I think I've probably had some of my favourite internetual conversations in the last couple of weeks over twitter. One of my personal favs however was over the weekend. 

Saturday morning I started a discussion with lgalaviz on the importance of abiding by rules when eating your friends. The rules are few but important. First off you should prioritise your options for consumption. 

As this card (given to me by the lovely Jo-Jo) states, if you feel the need to eat your friends then you must always forfeit that need and eat cake instead. This allows for longer friendships and fewer chances of getting indigestion. 

However there are the occasions when you have a hankering for some friend meat and there is no cake in the house. Lgalaviz experienced this predicament on Saturday. 

This, people, is a tricky situation to find yourself in. You see without cake the rules are suddenly thrown wide open and as such friend eating will become a valid option...

I know what you're thinking, the moral implications of this option are too many to count. I mean, a real life person is really big... Bigger than a turkey and those things stay around after Christmas for weeks! As such it is really important that you do not become too greedy. Limit yourself to one friend a day only. If you don't then you will find yourself too full for dinner and whoever is cooking your meal for you is going to be mega pissed. To put them in that situation is just not fair... As such the main rule from this we can take is:

When eating your friends, be mindful of other's feelings. They may have plans for dinner too.

By sticking to this rule lgalaviz was able to enjoy her food and not make herself sick for the rest of the night. 

Heinakroon then raised the issue that friends for food could be high in cholesterol. There is no reason to risk giving yourself a heart attack for a brief couple of hours of good food (yes I eat that slowly, I like to chew).

As such it was suggested we bring sparkerpants into the conversation who, apart from anything, just seemed to be happy to be involved, even though it took her a while to fully comprehend what the topic of conversation was. 

She suggested that a simple blood test might cancel any chance of eating someone high in cholesterol. This, I thought, was a genius idea as it has the bonus feature of stopping anyone getting any meat diseases. I was completely for this until heinakroon pointed out to me that by testing the friends meat first, you are essentially preventing zombies from being created. This simply would not do. 

That being said, I don't know if she knows this but I have a good feeling about Saturday. I think lgalaviz's morning snack might have made her the destined Patient Zero... I don't know anything as of yet but I have my fingers crossed for you lgalaviz!

So all in all, it was decided that the only real two rules you need to abide by are "Don't eat friends when there is cake" and "Only eat one friend a day so as not to piss off your significant other."

You can choose to make your food take a blood test if you want but if you don't mind causing bad blood pressure, heart attacks or the zombie apocalypse then I wouldn't bother. It just isn't worth it. 

Peace out my lovelies. 

Best birthday present EVER!! ... Possibly.

I now officially have a place to live in three weeks!! I'm well excited. Anna-(nickname-TBC)-Tidey and I went to look at six new flats on Saturday and the very last flat we found... It was simply perfect. Not one thing wrong with it and we both loved it equally. We put in an offer, they accepted and now, providing all the checks go through, we shall officially have it to move into by the end of the month! 

As excited as I am and as cool as this is, I can't help but be a little nervous. You see now the credit check part takes place. This bit scares me every time. Even though I know I shouldn't have any problems with it, I still walk around paranoid that for the next couple of days my money will be under complete scrutiny. 

Regardless of how these checks are normally done and how professional and discrete I'm sure the whole process is, this is how I imagine it takes place. 

It's a dark room with only a few dimly lit lamps spread around a large wooden round table. At each lamp there is a booklet in a leather binding. High back wooden chairs sit in front of each booklet. On the front of the booklet it reads 

Lisa's money and how she manages it.
Her future is in your hands. 

There is no one in the room at first but suddenly the massive oak double doors are opened and people in deep purple gowns walk sanctimoniously through the doors, humming a low chant whilst walking in a circle around the table until everyone is standing behind the seat allocated to them. 

The Chair of the meeting opens his arms wide, exposing his hands and wrists to the rest of the group. His skin is stretched thin over his bones and appears translucent, showing off purple veins underneath. 

"It is time." He calls out, his voice is low and echoes around the walls, dripping with authority and importance. 

The rest of the group bow their heads slowly in agreement. They move in complete union, not one face taking their gaze off their leader. 

"Sit." 

The Chair calls again and the scraping of chairs back is once more completely in time. Everyone sits down at once and hold the booklet up studying it's title with a deep seriousness. 

"Open to the first page." The Chair instructs. 

Everyone opens the first page. It is a picture of me smiling unsuspectingly out at them, unaware of the scrutiny I am suddenly under. 

"Her name is Lisa Harries and she wishes to move to a different flat." The Chair continues. "She feels she is ready for this move but is she really? That is what we are here to find out."

"What is her lifestyle?" A voice asks from the other side of the room. 

"She is a single woman, just turned 26. She has lived on her own for a year, prior to that she lived with her parents. She briefly had a moment of renting from a friend but that only lasted for 18 months before she ran back home."

"Her social life?"

"It would appear it is limiting. She seems to spend a lot of time talking to people she has never met on the interweb about the end of the world, vampire chickens, the rules that should be adhered to when eating friends and the British's inability to get excited about anything. Her real life friends consist of bullies, a woman who appears to be one of a kind, a really old woman with a child and a brother who draws. Aside from that she has been known to go to the cinema and work in a Mental Health hospital during the day. It would appear, in summary, that her social life is fairly minimal."

"And her love life?"

"Non existent and she seems compelled to keep it that way. It would appear that she has no control over the matter so it is of no importance."

"How does her finance lie?"

"Again, this appears to be fairly minimal. It would appear it is the reason for her moving out of her current home. This suggests an inconsistency in her commitments which should be taken into account."

"Also her visible madness." Another voice offers. "I wonder if a full assessment should be made about the extents she is likely to go. I fear the insurance in the new flat will not cover it if any faeces is spread on the walls or if she tries to convene with the people she believes to be living in the drains."

"I see your point." The Chair agrees. "And although she has not shown any signs of reaching this stage as of yet, she has been known to engage her kitchen tap in conversation and sleep with a machete under her pillow. I shall ask for a man to be assigned to her over the next month to see if he can see anything of concern."

There is a murmur of agreement around the room at this decision. 

"Should we be more concerned about her money? Should she not have more of it?" Another voice asks. 

"We are monitoring her spending. The report of this should be on page 7."

The men shuffle through the papers until they reach the correct page. There is a gasp followed by an undercurrent of murmurs throughout the group. 

"It says here she bought a double cheeseburger from McDonalds recently. This cannot be deemed as sensible spending surely?" One man says. 

"And here, look! She got cash back whilst in a pub three weeks ago. We can only hope and pray that she spent this wisely on bread and water for sustenance on her way straight back home." Another says.

"I fear not." The Chair answers. "The cash back came with use of the debit card on a pint of cider. It would appear Lisa was buying alcohol."

The ripple of murmurs becomes louder,  there is even one shout of protest. 

"Then you know what must be done sire!" A man cries out. 

The chair stands, his head bowed solemnly. "I do," he says. "There is no other choice. She is far too reckless. Application for admittance to the new flat is denied."

...

I swear on my life that's how it happens. 

Peace out my lovelies. 

My One-And-Only Birthday.

As I may have mentioned before, it was my birthday on Saturday. One-And-Only-Daniela stayed for the weekend to help me celebrate. 

For my blog today, let me tell you some of the awesome stuff she had to say. As usual she was on top form, here were my top three favourites conversations however. 

One-And-Only-Daniela has been shortened to OAOD

OAOD: Can I have the phone so I can call the kebab shop please?
Me: Here you go. (Hands her the phone)
OAOD: Thanks. (Takes the phone and dials the number, her face suddenly looks confused.) Huh, what's that?
Me: What's what?
OAOD:The phone's making a weird beeping noise and I don't know what it means. 
Me: Really? Let me listen. (OAOD hands me the phone and I take a listen, I look at her, dumbfounded.) Daniela, you do realise that that noise is the engaged tone right?
OAOD: Was it? Oh yeah!
Me: (Continue to look at her dumbfounded) You work at a phone-in helpdesk don't you?
OAOD: Yeah...
Me: So surely you must have heard that noise before right?
OAOD: Yeah I have. I know what an engaged tone sounds like, I just got a little confused. 

Later in the evening as we were watching TV.

OAOD: Lisa?
Me: Hmmm?
OAOD: What happens when you get menopause?
Me: I sincerely hope you are expecting me to answer this from what I've been told rather than thinking I know this from experience. 
OAOD: Well of course I don't think you have menopause. I mean you're old but you're not that old. 
Me: Well okay then, just as long as you know that. Menopause is what happens when our bodies start to change and we can't have babies anymore. We get to go through all kinds of symptoms in reaction to it. It usually happens around mid to late 40s. 
OAOD: Huh... When do you stop having it?
Me: (Don't say a word as I throw my classic 'dumbfounded at Daniela' gaze)
OAOD: What?
Me: Please tell me you know that once you get menopause you can't then start to be able to have babies afterwards. 
OAOD: Wait... what?

I feel it important to mention that later One-And-Only-Daniela did claim that she had only been referring to the side effects of menopause and not the actual change of the body itself... I still remain skeptical on this however. 

The last conversation was had early Sunday morning when discussing politics.

OAOD: I'm don't really know that much about politics.
Me: I know what you mean, sometimes a lot of what they say tends to go over my head. Also I don't really trust any of them... Apart from Boris Johnson. I love Boris Johnson. He reminds me of a massive cuddly bear that I just want to hug with all my might. 
OAOD:The guys at work were talking about it this week and I didn't understand anything they had to say. 
Me: Yeah, I can be the same at times. 
OAOD: I mean I do know some stuff. Like you know that BNP group?
Me: I'm aware of their work, yes. 
OAOD: Well I know they're involved with politics somehow. Only they're not the most popular group. There are other groups that are more popular and have more chance to be the prime minister... In fact I think one of them is. 
Me: Wait, are you talking about the Labour, Conservative and Lib Dem parties?
OAOD: Is that what they're called? I didn't know that... but I think you're right because those names sound familiar. 
Me: Thanks for clarifying that for me. I would have been unsure otherwise... Also? You might be the most awesome person I know.

For those of you who are new to any of One-And-Only-Daniela's dedicated posts then, just to clarify, this is not an 8 year old that I hang out with, this is a 22 year old. I felt that was important to clarify this because our conversations might appear to suggest otherwise. 

She is simply an awesome and very quizzical woman who, if you were to spend time with her, you would not ever run out of interesting conversations to be had. For more info check the "Regular people on my blog" section at the top of the page. 

Also... One-And-Only-Daniela died my hair for me (in the most painful way I have ever known it to be). Check out my new red!

Further awesome news to follow in tomorrow's post. 

Peace out my lovelies. 

Plan B: The start of my birthday celebrations

One-And-Only-Daniela is coming to my house for the weekend. She doesn't know it but I have the best night planned for her tonight. 

You see, tomorrow I have another day of people traipsing through my flat and deciding whether they would like to live there. However, I've been a bit of a slob this week so it doesn't look too presentable. Due to this I have organised an awesome party for the both of us called "tidy Lisa's house until it looks sparkling party." 

One-And-Only-Daniela, it would be fair to say, may be even more of a slob than I am. As such I'm sure she'll be well happy with this party because it's something that she doesn't usually do so it can be something she can look forward to and cherish! I'm such a good friend. 

The whole process of people looking through my flat and judging it has been okay because they're usually not that verbal. They just come in, look in each room, smile, nod their heads and leave. However, earlier in the week, as I was walking up the path to my house, I spotted a man staring at me. I turned to look at him suspiciously and this was the following conversation that took place. 

Man: Are you the girl who was in this house when we came to look at it last Saturday?
Me: (Smiles as I vaguely recognise him, whilst also thinking that this would make sense given that my key was in the lock) Yeah, that was me. 
Man: Wow, small world.
Me: (Thinks to self, "not really given that this is the same address you came to so it kinda makes sense that you would see me here.) Yeah, I guess. 
Man: How long have you lived here then?
Me: Just a year, I loved it but it was just too expensive so I'm finding elsewhere. Did you like the place?
Man: No, I thought it was horrendous. It's a horrible flat. 
Me: Oh... Well, okay then. 
Man: I just can't understand why anyone would pay to live there. 
Me: (Thinks to self, "Well quite clearly I have but cheers for the input.") Well anywho, must dash. Thanks for the chat. 

...

It's not just me right? The whole point of that conversation was completely non existent... It was like he stopped me purely to voice his opinion on the crappiness of my chosen lifestyle. But I guess whatever makes people feel better... 

I mean yes, the place is appallingly decorated, there is no central heating, there is condensation permanently trapped in both back windows which makes it impossible to look out of and the sofas are the most uncomfortable things I have ever had to sit on. But still... You know... It has character and stuff. 

Anywho, I will be moving out in three weeks and now that the apocalypse has failed to happen I shall have to actually look for a flat to move into... No pressure or anything. 

Peace out my lovelies and have an awesome weekend.