Thursday, 5 January 2012

New Year Resolutions are pointless so I've made them awesome. You're welcome.

I haven't really done anything particularly new yearish as there are a lot of entertaining blogs that have touched on the topic and I fear I have nothing additional to add. 

Having said that, the blog I wrote yesterday about Ed Sheeran gave me an idea for 2012 that I have decided to go ahead and roll with. 

I tend to steer clear of New Year Resolutions due to the overwhelming failures they always end up being as I seem to be physically incapable of sticking with anything that is named Resolution. However, with this knowledge of inevitable failure, there comes an almighty freedom... Like I can pick whatever I want for a resolution because the likelihood of success is so small. As such, I have decided to aim high, concentrating not on how long it will be until I fail miserably but rather how amazing it would be if I actually managed to achieve just one of them. 

With this thought I would like to present to you 'Lisa's unbelievably unrealistic list of impossible resolutions.'

1. Get Ed Sheeran to write a song about me. (As this was the idea that made me come up with this list, it's only fair that it goes first.)

2. Become fluent in Latin. 

3. Get TV footage of me advertising this blog. 

4. Learn and perform the entire last dance in Dirty Dancing. 

5.Actually buy a couple of spit roasts. 

6. Get a multi million pound book deal for my books (actually I'd settle for any book deal). 

7. Fly in a spaceship. 

8. Convince Andrew Garfield/ Rupert Grint/ Prince Harry that we'd be awesome best friends... Bonus points if I get more than one. 

9. Develop a relationship with my own chimpanzee and learn how to speak to each other (like in Rise of the Planet of the Apes... If that is how the end of the world goes down it is going to be useful to have a friend on the inside).

10. Figure out how to transport an object from one place to another... Younger-Brother-Daniel told me the other days that scientists have given up on the idea this will ever be possible because there is no physical way. I refuse to believe this is an acceptable answer. If scientists are stupid enough to give up on the idea then I'll figure it out and be the one to gain millions of pounds in the process. 

Okay, that's enough to be getting on with for 2012. Unless anyone else has any other ideas?

Wish me luck!

Peace out my lovelies. 


  1. no.3 is well doable!

    Get yourself to darts, or big brother or something, where they have banners. Then shove to the front.


  2. Genius! I may have to do my own awesome resolutions now. I usually make a conscious effort NOT to make any resolutions, but these are inspiring!