Monday, 22 September 2014

Next on Netflix: I'm just going to shut myself away from the world; it's the only way I'm going to steer clear of spoilers.

Happy Monday everyone.

I took a brief hiatus from the world of Netflix whilst I went through seven series of The Big Bang Theory because it is, quite frankly, one of the funniest shows on TV at the moment. I've seen them all countless times already but I got a really good deal on the box set for seasons 1-6 (£26 only from Amazon) and couldn't help myself so began from the beginning again.

I laughed, I laughed some more, I laughed again. Awesome show.

Anywho, I went through a small grieving period when, last week, I finished season 7 and realised that I now had this big gap in my life where Big Bang Theory had been. I turned to Netflix, not too confident that I would find anything to watch, given that I have definitely got to a point where almost all series on that site have now been watched extensively. I resorted back to Damages with Glenn Close as I'm on series 2 and find it entertaining but not exactly gripping. Then Claire-The-Bully mentioned a show that had been on there for quite a while and I kept on forgetting to watch; Homeland.


I got through the first two seasons (and also the only two available on Netflix right now) in two days. I watched the pants out of that show. I sat there gripped to the TV, unable to get my head around the genius of its writing. Of all the writing there is in the world, when someone gets a TV show right, I fall completely in love. Homeland gets it right. They get it right HARD.

Now, I want to make it painfully clear that I have only seen the first two seasons. I want to shout this from the rooftops that, just because one person might have seen them all, it doesn't mean everyone else has. Therefore, it is the polite thing to shut the fudge up when talking about episodes recently that have come out. I know this might seem to be an obvious point to make, but clearly it needs to be said, because when I innocently spot a video on youtube labelled "Jennifer Lawrence meets Homeland star; Damian Lewis" I'm going to watch that due to the fact that Lawrence makes me laugh so much. Also, I'm going to continue to watch it when she announces in the first 5 seconds of the video that she has only seen the first two seasons. I'm going to feel safe that neither Lawrence nor Lewis are going to mention anything about an episode I haven't seen on account that one is up to the same place I am, and the other is a professional. What I don't expect to happen is that, after hearing that Lawrence has only watched the first two seasons, the interviewer would then casually let Lawrence know of a MASSIVE plot spoiler that happens in the future series after that. What a bitch.

Lawrence got angry, I got angry. We both ganged up on the interviewer, although in fairness, she could only actually hear Lawrence. She said she felt awful, but I doubt she did. That woman knew what she was doing. She was a nasty person who wanted to cause pain and hurt into not just Lawrence's life, but all those people who then subsequently watched the interview and had their lives ruined too. To me, there is nothing more excruciating and horrible to do to a person than tell them spoilers to a show they haven't seen. If I were to ever be captured and tortured for information, that would be how they'd break me. I'd sing like a bird if it meant that no one told me the ending to a Grey's Anatomy series before I get there myself.

Then, to top it all off. I spotted that a whole 10 series of Stargate was also now available on Netflix. This is a show that a friend of mine from school had been obsessed with and had leant me the boxsets about 10 years ago for the first 4 series. I had loved it. In fact, I have regularly been checking Netflix to see if they are going to add it. Finally, they have.

So excited was I, that I text One-And-Only-Daniela the good news and told her that I was going to spend my entire weekend on a hardcore Stargate marathon... sci fi heaven. She then responded with telling me a Season 10 spoiler in her next text back... Ladies and gents, this woman has been responsible over the course of our friendship to reveal spoilers for the following series:

Grey's Anatomy (and yes, it was that spoiler. The big one)
Game of Thrones (little hint. If you are ever with her and ask her not to mention the show, then she goes on to 'speak in code' with someone else so that you don't know what she's saying; run, run like the wind. One-And-Only-Daniela does not know what speaking in code means. You will find out things you didn't want to. (Oh, and in case you were wondering... yes, it was that spoiler. The red one.))
The Vampire Diaries (I am still further behind than she is on this show. However, I now tackle her to the ground; bound and gag her, the moment she even mentions the word 'vampire'.)

There are many more. You'd think I'd be wily to her ways now, but she does it so quickly and stealthily that you never see it coming. She's like a spoiler ninja. She doesn't do it on purpose, she just does it. Then realises that she probably shouldn't have said it about 30 seconds after the words are out of her mouth. The only reason I found out a Homeland spoiler from another source was because One-And-Only-Daniela hasn't seen that show yet. I wish she could just walk around with a constant bleeper built into her mouth so that any time she began to tell me the plot to a show I've just started, it bleeps her out and I stay blissfully in the dark.

I have considered doing the same back to her, but my own hate of spoiler revealing forces me not to. Not to mention that if I were to tell her the ending to something she was watching, she'd just shrug her shoulders and walk away... which makes her so much more powerful than me...

Somewhere in the distance, I can hear her maniacal laughter floating in the wind.

Peace out my lovelies

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