Monday, 17 June 2013

A little goodbye and thank you to an amazing family.

Kindness is a beautiful thing and something that should not be sniffed at. I have experienced kindness to a beautiful level over the past 6 months.

I have just left a house lived in by the most amazing family. Not only had they given me a roof over my head when I really needed it, they continued to show amazing support and love for the whole 6 months I was there.

It's perhaps for this reason that I find myself, having moved out only two days ago, feeling somewhat lost and sad, realising that their continuing love, support, music and laughter will not be something I get to experience on a daily basis.

No longer will I be able to come home from work and find The-Five-Year-Old running to the door to give me a massive hug when I enter the house. No longer will I be able to sit at the piano with The-Fourteen-Year-Old and either sing a series of songs with her, or listen to her amazing talent as she plays me one of her compositions. No longer will I hear myself addressed as 'Future Famous Author' by The-Eleven-Year-Old, making me feel like I had made it as a writer long before I'm anywhere near it. No longer will I get the opportunity to sit down and chat with Mr and Mrs-Host. Sit and talk about our days, share our problems and feel that, although my own parents are miles away in Ireland, I still have a second family to come home to.

The move at this particular point in time, was my decision and something that needed to happen. It will open up a whole new world of opportunity and one that I am open to/terrified of all at the same time. But all the same... leaving them had to be one of the toughest decisions I've made in a long time.

To show an example of the love that they brought, I'll tell you of one day I had a couple of months ago...

I had just decided that I wasn't going to go to America after months of planning and anticipation. In addition to this I was feeling the effects of having crappy emotions more than usual. I had the impulse to cry coming at me from every direction. My day at work had been stressful and had not helped with the stresses I was already feeling. I didn't know where to turn. I came home from work, gave Mrs-Host one look and burst into tears. She simply guided me to the sofa and sat there with me, hugging me whilst I cried for a good hour. She didn't ask any questions, she didn't probe me for any information. She just sat there with me, and waited until I was ready to talk. It was just what I needed and the best blessing I could have asked for.

Throughout these months, this has been the ongoing support I have experienced from them, in all areas of my life. They have constantly loved, cared and given, without asking for anything in return. They accepted me into their lives and family without reservation, and for that I will never stop being grateful.

The whole reason for me living with this family was so that I could get a hold of my financial issues and raise money to go to America. I might not have reached the goal of going to America, but every part of my life has begun to improve since being in that house. It was what I needed more than anything else. My finances are in control, my life is beginning to find order, and I am starting to embrace things with a clearer mind. For that reason, I thank God for them. They came into my life at the period where I needed them the most. They came and they offered kindness unselfishly and beautifully.

For this reason, it's no wonder that I am now looking at my next chapter of life, slightly low and terrified. I've lost my daily cushion of support (although they have made it clear that I am welcome any time). But I'm choosing to look forward at this point, grateful of the time and working on the notion that I won't squander all the good work they have done in my life by falling back onto bad habits. I will take their advice and kindness, and look forward with a smile on my face, safe in the knowledge that I have found a new family of friends for life.

So with all that being said, all I have left to say is: Thank you Caroline and Phil. Thank you for all you are. Thank you for having an awesome family. Thank you for these six months. Thank you for everything. You can be assured, you've got me for life now... Sorry about that!

Peace out my lovelies.

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