Sunday, 28 October 2012

Okay, so I may be one of those people who confuse TV and real life...

So it's freezing outside and I'm sweating. I've decided that the reason for this is one of two options.

1. The heating has been on too high in my flat, I'm tucked under my duvet on my sofa and my lap top in on my lap (I'm nothing if not a true believer of making sure all objects live up to their names) and is radiating heat up and down my legs.

2. I'm dying of some form of tropical disease.

I think we all know the right option... it's quite obviously option 2.

Now there may be some sceptics amongst you who would have gone down the more obvious track of option 1 but let me say this... after spending the past month or so rewatching five series of 'House' the answer is never the obvious one... I mean, I don't know about you but when I hear hoofs galloping on the ground and a four legged mammal riding towards me on the horizon, I almost always find it is a zebra and not a horse. My reasons? Well, if it's a horse in England, the land of all period dramas ever known to man, then that's just boring. But if it's a zebra in England? What an awesome story to tell! So awesome that it might even warrant not being true in order to get the laughs and general merriment needed to simply get through the day.

This is why I will always choose the way of the ridiculous over the way of the mundane, because let's face it, which one's more interesting?

Case and point, if I had chosen option 1 as the reason why I am suddenly sweating buckets (and by 'sweating buckets' I mean providing enough sweat to fill multiple buckets, not that I am single handedly giving birth to wooden buckets from my pores ... (or am I?)) then this blog would have simply been 'I'm hot... the end.' But by choosing option 2 I am quite clearly creating an interesting blog that can easily lead to a mysterious illness which would result in multiple amounts of tests, none of which I would have to pay for because I live in a country that doesn't charge me for being run over by a bus and then given the gift of actually living again... (sorry, I work for the NHS, I get a little protective of it sometimes), tests which will come up as clear so that they have to ship Dr House over here to find out how I managed to catch a tropical disease from some remote island off the pacific ocean when I haven't left the country in just over two years... my money's on some fruit that I ate this morning... those parasites get everywhere.

And for those of you who might think that Dr House wouldn't come over here, I have already looked into it and the man is actually secretly British and just puts on an American accent... and when I say 'secretly' I mean, not secretly at all because really the whole country have taken great pride in saying "that man's one of us and people in America love him! We succeed again! Huzzah! Let us all do a jig!" ... ah, I seem to have fallen into a stereo type... hold on a tick... will be back to you in a jiffy... oh bloody hell, what a tiz waz I have found myself in, and now I appear to be slightly stuck in a bore of a character... woopsy daisy... *coughs loudly and smacks her head against one of her zebras* and I'm back.

It would appear that this has turned into one of those blogs where I have gone off on a long line of stupid and pointless tangents to the point where I have lost interest in my initial point... as such, I probably won't bother with any of the testing bit and just cross my fingers that I don't die... also, I might open a window and put my duvet to one side... you know, on the off chance I was wrong in my diagnosis.

Oh and in other news, I'm doing NaNoWriMo this November... check out my profile for a sneak peak and if you are doing it to then please let me know and be my friend! It's my first year of doing it this year and I'm all excited but feel a little bit like a virgin at some form of professional orgy so as much help, love and general chattiness as possible would be grand.

I know it doesn't mean much as I have generally been the suckiest person in the history of all the world recently when it comes to updating this blog, but I might not be able to write much in November as I would imagine NaNoWriMo taking up most of my time... I do have one massive thing that I blame my lack of internetual chat on (iphone screen completely broken thanks to Lord Voldemort and a mishap with my phone being mistook for a wand
(One-And-Only-Daniela recently uploaded a picture of the crime scene recently seconds after the incident took place, I thought I'd show it to you, in case you didn't believe me...


I think that's enough for now... I have Dr House's smoldering blue eyes and fake American accent waiting patiently for me...

Love you all a lot and stuff.

Peace out my lovelies.

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