What's that Lisa? Another thing that makes you socially awkward? Well there's a surprise!

I had my appraisal at work today. I don't want to brag or nuffink but I did pretty good! 

One thing that I realised though is the appraisal setting is the only setting where I can take a compliment without being filled with awkwardness and suspicion. 

In every other case my default thought reaction to any spontaneous compliment that comes my way is:

First: "Who told you to say that?"
Second: "Why are you being weird?"
Third: "What obligation do you owe me?"
And ending with fourth: "Oh my I feel awkward right now."

Whilst all the time my face looks like this:



It's not to say that I don't like getting compliments. I do. I just only learn to like them about 6 hours later when I've let my neuroses calm down and I'm able to process the words spoken at me. 

Today in my appraisal however, I had feedback forms read to me from my bosses and due to the fact that these aren't the type of people to compliment for the hell if it, I was oddly able to take the compliments and not feel awkward. 

Thinking about it, it may have had a lot to do with the fact that the people who had written the feedback forms weren't in the room. I'm pretty sure if they were have said it to my face I would have told them to stop being silly, "it's my job."

Actually, yes this can be confirmed as afterwards one of the guys who had written the form came in and I toyed with saying thanks for the feedback but then was crippled silent by the awkwardness that i was sure would inevitably follow... 

I will say thanks eventually... I think. 

I guess this post can serve as an explanation should you ever find yourself in a situation where you've said something nice to me and I've suddenly mumbled something incoherent and left the room. It's not because I don't appreciate the words, and I definitely am not saying that I don't LIKE getting compliments, I'm just... Well... socially stunted. 

Those compliments and nice words today actually made my day today, I can tell you guys this because I don't have to worry about reacting correctly whilst in a social interaction. Whether I can tell the actual people is another story... 

You know what? I'm going to try it, I'm going to aim to say thanks for the nice words and then marvel at myself and my personal growth.

I'm making it sound like I get compliments all the time. I really don't, probably why I act so weird about them. But that's not an invitation for some!! I really am not fishing, please don't think that! Oh see, this is why I just don't comment on things like this, I don't know how to. 

If you've ever said anything nice to me... Thanks and sorry for being so weird about it. 

Peace out my lovelies.