As a active point of trying to progress my love life to anything other than "Sorry mum, no new boyfriend yet, I forgot I was meant to be looking for one," and then watch her disappear into a pool of her own despair and fear that I will never give her grandchildren, I joined a dating site today that my friend Jo-Jo recommended me. Due to them being uuber careful about who is on it they are vetting everything I've put on my profile and so, as such, my profile looks completely bare.
However, determined not to let this disrupt my new found wave of moving forward with my life, I continued on to browse through the men the site had to offer.
Line-Manager-Monica and I reviewed my future prospects and occasionally fell on some that have the best chance of breaking through my crippling wall of phobia. On the site you have the option to "smile" at the person, which I guess is a way to let them know that you appreciate the way they look.
Anywho, Line-Manager-Monica and I may have gotten a little carried away, mainly due to any time I gave a reaction that sounded remotely positive she would cry out "smile at him." Running off the adrenaline of reacting like everyone else when they like a guy, I managed to dismiss my default "If I like him I should never look at his profile again in case he realises" reaction and actually pressed the smile button.
I may have got a little click happy by the end but when I went back to my profile I noticed not one but two guys had looked at my profile and one if the guys who I had smiled at had smiled at me back and left me a message!
Well this had to have been the most exciting thing to have happened in my love life for the past three years so naturally I was rather excited by this prospect. (If you are new to my blog and find it bizarre that this is my reaction, please may I refer you to this post and this one to explain my love life.)
I clicked on my inbox and found the following message:
"Hey! Nice profile, any chance of a picture?"
Guys... Is it wrong that my default reaction to this was to be instantly turned off by the superficialness of it? I mean, I had uploaded a picture but it was still being vetted which was why he couldn't see it. I had already said to Line-Manager-Monica whilst I was gaily smiling at everyone that there was no point because they couldn't see my profile yet and so wouldn't be able to know who's smiling at them which is understandable, but the moment he asked for a photo, I was all "how dare you not be interested in me just as I am? You should be better than that."
To further illustrate my sheer hypocritical nature, when previously refining my search for looking for men myself, I had instantly ticked the box to insist that only profiles with pictures are shown...
This, people, is my problem. This is the reason my mother has taken a desperate tone with me whenever discussing my love life, this is the reason that one of my friends, upon me telling them that I am turning 26 on Saturday, commented that I will most probably die an old maid. I simply either cannot be bothered with finding a guy or give up within five seconds.
To my mother who may be reading this and wriggling in her seat with joy that I appear to have turned a corner in terms of my love life. Sorry... Chances are I will most probably come up with excuses for all of the guys I come across on this site. Either that or I'll simply lose interest in the site altogether. Even now I can feel my proactive wave subsiding and my need for a nap taking it's place. I'll probably just get a puppy instead.
Peace out my lovelies.
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Make sure you only look at the puppy profiles with the pictures.
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